Good Show Sir

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Think of your target audience, 15 year old boys and 39 year old single males still living with their parents. So that would be, a women with an unimaginable rack walks in space across….liquid alien gooey stuff….and then just throw in a red computer grid and some flying male/female symbols. Sorted! We’ve pretty much got a winner!

Thanks to Mairi!

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Art shouldn’t be confined to one side of a book, so span it across front AND back! And I am talking full-on epic here. Guy carried by a lizard horse dragon thing, shoots his laser at… wait for it….. dwarfs with spears riding on the backs of kangaroos! It will be a Sci-Fi craze! I’m sure it will just be as popular as man-tigers… Ahahahaha……………..

Thanks again to Chris R! You’re a legend!

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Word association game: say the first two words that come into your head when I say “Sci Fi”. Laser guns? WRONG! It’s cat people! Eat your words! Though, lasers… not bad actually.  Add them in with some weird cloaked alien holding a gun. Might help distract from the fact we have friggin’ cat people on there.

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Hey guys, well I have the chips, beers, d20′s, cigars ….. and so I told them for the cover just put a large cybernetic cat man pondering meanly into the distance whilst standing in the midst of an exploded wasteland.  *coughs* Why are you looking at me like that? …. Oh right, I forgot the dip!

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I’ll admit the only idea I could come up with is a women with laser gun cowers backwards with her chimpanzee colleague, who, I might add, should be in a tight leather body suit. Also, throw a huge red horned daemon bull creature in as he hurls himself at them with a loincloth… sorry I mean spear… ah what the hell why not both!?

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OK! Get ready ’cause here comes the cover train and we’re about to jump right on it!  One, a hunky topless man holding his huge gun. Two,  a post-apocalyptic scene in the background. Three, the author’s name in terrible fonts and way larger than the actual book title. Four, did I mention muscles…mmm, MMM! Wooo woo all aboard!!!!

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We’ve both been talking this over and really there is one thing we need on our cover. A horrific font!  Have it big, bold, blocky and have the ‘fought’ look like someone has tried to adjust the colour balance in photoshop and then forgot about it.  For the rest, just have some women crawling out of the air vent shooting an android. But seriously, who cares about the artwork these days.

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As a women I know that there are two main things we love about men. Long hair with hunky muscles being one of them, *drool*, and the ability to fire a light weight fast action submachine gun at any given point. What’s that you say – this book’s in the Fantasy genre? Oh yeah, forgot that element… uhhh ok then, lens flare the gun and put some transparent eyes in the sky. Now that’s what I call Fantasy Romance!

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Art direction: I have two words for you: Magic Fireball! Have some leather clad guy holding an old school hunting rife casting it. Just make sure that the fireball is purple! Magic is purple…. right?

Thanks to CSA!