Good Show Sir

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So I climbed over the mountain peak and made my way through the snow storm.  I was close to death and feared I may never see another living soul again.  Then I stumbled on the temple, and the great master. There he leaned forward from his mediation. Placing a single flower petal in my hand he whispered, ‘shoulder pads’.  It changed my life.

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Think of your target audience, 15 year old boys and 39 year old single males still living with their parents. So that would be, a women with an unimaginable rack walks in space across….liquid alien gooey stuff….and then just throw in a red computer grid and some flying male/female symbols. Sorted! We’ve pretty much got a winner!

Thanks to Mairi!

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Art shouldn’t be confined to one side of a book, so span it across front AND back! And I am talking full-on epic here. Guy carried by a lizard horse dragon thing, shoots his laser at… wait for it….. dwarfs with spears riding on the backs of kangaroos! It will be a Sci-Fi craze! I’m sure it will just be as popular as man-tigers… Ahahahaha……………..

Thanks again to Chris R! You’re a legend!

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Word association game: say the first two words that come into your head when I say “Sci Fi”. Laser guns? WRONG! It’s cat people! Eat your words! Though, lasers… not bad actually.  Add them in with some weird cloaked alien holding a gun. Might help distract from the fact we have friggin’ cat people on there.

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So, for the cover I was thinking “fear”. What are the two things you are most afraid of attacking this building right now?  A small space ship firing a pretty standard laser, that’s scary, right?  But what, get this, if it came with a friend?  A giant legionary‘s sword! If that cut into your building you’d defecate yourself right there and then!

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Two words for you…. pirates vs kinky police officers. Well you know what I mean! Have the officers in long knee highs and holding a large batons. Have a large magic beam hitting a stereotypical pirate in the chest and him grimacing in pain. It’s almost too perfect.

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When you think of the great wars throughout time what do you think of? Romans vs Carthage? British vs French? Allies vs Axis? Well my dear friend let me pitch you this one: Dragons vs Lasers! And not just any lasers, flying robot lasers. I know, legendary… I know.

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So on this cover I want a vision of the future! I ponder what shall humanity meet? Aliens? OR a huge dragon lizard alien!?! And how shall man react? Peacefully? Or will they be blasting away at it with a shoulder mounted laser gun, wearing tight grey jump suits and wielding their horrendous mullets or bowl cuts… God… I can’t wait for the year 2015.

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*hick* You’re the best!! Soooo… drunk….Wha’? Oh yeah… This time I’m looking for a different type of glow, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge. And have a friggin’ space battle going on that they are ignoring with their love-making! Hey… why are you running away?!