Good Show Sir

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Ashton Comments: Uh, no comment.
Published 1982

Amazing find! Thanks to Ashton!

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Carolyn Comments: You can probably analyze this better than I! I assume the artist just read the jacket blurb.
Published 1977

“Imagine: Gorilla-shaped bismuth junkies who stack their dead ancestors like cordwood in the living room; gentle souls who can touch with a touch or a thought.  A throwback fiefdom on a planet where huge poisonous bats rule the night sky, where serpents the size of semi-trailers slither though the rotting jungle.  A sarcastic mansized beetle that’s a Talmudic scholar and swears like a longshoreman. And claims to be immortal. All in a life’s work for Otto McGavin: Prime Operator for the TBII, undercover guardian of the rights of aliens and humans under the Confederacion.”

Mmm… uhh… seriously? That snake doesn’t look too happy.
Outstanding! Good Show Carolyn!

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Don Comments: OK, we’ve seen tons of perms and oodles of mullets on these covers – but I do believe this is the first permed mullet.  (Pullet?) Assuming that’s the eponymous Bard whose Tale this is, he’s apparently not the brightest light in the harbor, since he a) agreed to accompany his hairdresser on a thieving expedition from an albino lizard-man (do such things EVER end well?) and b) misunderstood her when she said she wanted him along to carry the loot.
Published 1993

Many thanks to the Don!

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Sarah’s Art Direction: Look, I know it’s 4:30 on a Friday, but surely you can come up with something.

Many thanks to Sarah!

These collections of books were submitted by Eron Rauch. Thanks to Eron for making my day full of Icelandic volcano ash that little bit easier! Check out Eron’s site www.eronrauch.com which shows off some of his great photography, some of it also brilliantly nerdy!

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Eron Comments: The first of three in this series. I mean, how else do I explain it more than the title “Camelot in Orbit”, except I don’t really understand logic of the title, since they seem to be on another planet. I guess technically that planets are in orbit, but that’s rather redundant. Also, King Arthur seems to be riding a beaked dinosaur that is so pathetic that He-Man would be caught near it. I mentioned that before right? A fecking armored dinosaur.

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Eron Comments: The second in the series, I think, I mean it’s hard for me to care really, but this cover is passably bad until you notice the creepy-as-sin inbred ewok/mogwai knock-off sitting just to the bottom left of the girl. Staring. Into your soul with hollow black eyes. Seriously the stuff of nightmares.

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Eron Comments: The third in this utterly original series. Which features “Magick” with the added “k” which must mean serious fantasy is about to be had! In addition, we get a phenomenal rendering of the back of some random knight and a severely constipated dragon trying desperately to crap himself in terror at the War of the Worlds spaceship blowing the hell our of it’s castle with a laser that comes from nowhere.

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A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.

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Ok! What would gods normally do, while inhabiting the body of a busty half naked women? Hmmm, how about standing by a sweet tower glowing oddly, on all fours in front of some sort of cat creature and swinging a sword about to decapitate a snake. Gods are all about the sexual innuendo! Yeaaaaahhhhaaa!

Thanks to David D!

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No man – be him a humble farmer from the old country or a tight muscled, loincloth wearing, sword wielding elite barbarian – can resist tackling his snake. So let’s have the loinclothed one waving his swords, standing triumphantly on a snake. Make the colours bright and the expressions memorable.