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Jul 12

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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May 28

I am NOT asking for directions... It's right over the next crater... I think...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Look out! No brakes!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Dec 03

Look we all know how this works... we get the armour... you get the wrist guards and push up bra... it will protect you... honest!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments: Upset that only the City Watch showed up to her Confirmation, Melody pisses the Pleiades.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 3.39 out of 10)
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Jun 22

Ok dance team... this is our time to shine!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: One hot chick with boobs on show and her two angry brothers.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.23 out of 10)
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May 17

This robot really knows were to rip clothes. We look excellent.Click for full image

So when people escape from prison what usually happens to them? That’s right, their clothes rip. So the guy will be showing his well shaved muscle bound chest where as the women will show basically everything.  We’ll have that, but with Mechs too! Because what cover isn’t improved with the addition of Mechs?

Thanks to Christopher!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.46 out of 10)
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May 19

I can completely see down your top from this angle, awesome!Click for full image

Leaping to the stars!  That’s what I am calling it but I was kinda thinking that we could just have a man in a jumpsuit and a women leaping up some sort of engineering shaft. Not quite the stars but I am sure the buyers will appreciate that we included the leaping part!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.30 out of 10)
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