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Jul 05

You have the right to remain fabulous!Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: Amazingly, this is about the most tasteful cover for this I’ve seen. The original hardback had a 90% return rate, which makes sense when you see what they put on it.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.35 out of 10)
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Nov 14

...turn back home because we remembered we forgot to put clothes on today.Click for slightly larger image

Harry’s Art Direction: I know it’s a serious novel about a bunch of survivors on an Alien world. I know it’s written by Joanna Russ. Yes, Fred, I KNOW who she is, but portraying the heroine as competent won’t sell books. This is the 70s, man, so you just GOTTA stick her in a silver bikini and put her on a phallic rocket cycle – and don’t forget to make it a crotch shot.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.98 out of 10)
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Dec 13

So gold he breaks the covers boarder!Click for full image

Phil’s Art Direction: To be honest with you, I’m not convinced he’s golden enough. Make the whites of his eyes golden as well, would you please? And a few wires attached randomly to the face will convey the science fictional nature of the book.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.80 out of 10)
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Oct 13

Man I have such a splitting dimensional rip right in the middle of my face.Click for full image

Tom M Comments: An enthralling depiction of what goes on inside the author’s head. You WILL be amazed by the crazy things he can think up – such as a bald man! Or a woman!
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.65 out of 10)
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Apr 22

Look at my magical naked women! Her hand turns into my cape!Click for full image

Harry Comments: According to the author, this cover was commissioned for another book but somehow ended up on hers. It’s very loosely appropriate: there is a sword, and there is a hero, but he is quite explicitly gay.

Superb! Thanks Harry!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.91 out of 10)
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Jan 07

Cover yourself up women, yer distracting me horse!Click for full image

Most covers only hint at cleavage. Where we will succeed will be in the tactic of placing an actual topless women on the cover! Riding horse back along an alien desert. Oh, and she is being lead by a sort of Apache Indian bloke with an extremely long sword. And yes, I mean a literal sword.

Thanks to Craig!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.43 out of 10)
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