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Feb 10

Crystal answer me... why did I buy such a big dish washer?Click for full image

Rachel J’s Art Direction: Mark, *nothing* happens in this yawn-fest, so let’s go with the general girl-power-in-space-with-crystals theme from the earlier books. Pink-and-purple colour scheme, huge embossed title in neon yellow, rocketships, chick in the foreground holding up a sparkly rainbow crystal. Oh, and make her look awed. What?  No, I said “awed”, not “bored!”  But hey, “bored” works too.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.04 out of 10)
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Feb 24

You are the worst shot ever, he's behind you!Click for full image

Throw out this idea of a whole picture and think in terms of layers. Just concentrate on four of them, a women with a bad hair cut firing a laser, a tiny women in a floating tea cup, a huge bald guy about to attack and some people in an arena watching. Slap it all together and we’re sorted!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.82 out of 10)
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Feb 03

OYE! Get a job you tree hugging, green chemical firing, alien hippy!Click for full image

There is one thing we should be about, fonts! Lots of them. Vast and glorious as they confuse your mind. Then we’ll just have something completely unoriginal on the cover. Something like, oh I don’t know, some marines firing their weapons at an tribal people who live in the trees. Sounds like a crap B movie eh? Ah ha ha ha ha.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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