Good Show Sir

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Art Direction: Hey remember that time I had too many of those strawberry “stickers.” It was hilarious, I was all like, ‘OH GWAD help me! I’m fading into another world!’ Lets just draw that, expect, miss out the parts with my genitals. Keep the moustache though…
Published 1980

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Zycrow’s Art Direction: Yeah your epic future city background is nice, but there’s not enough yelling. I heard they yelled a lot in the Civil War, so draw some of those guys in there. And make sure they are REALLY YELLING!
Published 1991

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Libraryman comments: This cover has it all!

• Large centipede monster: check
• Flying Manta Rays: check
• Improbable mouths: check
• Pink foliage: check
• Big head Charles Bronson babysitting two “special” people : You better believe a check!

Published 1985 (maybe)

Many thanks to Libraryman!

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Javier’s Art Direction: How about a slightly hunched, skinny, pasty white guy with a furry mustache and a laser gun that goes beep standing in front of an orange city?

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Suspiously good photos… Excellent though!
Many thanks to Javier!
If anyone knows what these are in English let me know. I haven’t had time to look.

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Johannah’s Art Direction: Okay, two words: Cat People! Yes, again. But this time we’ll have five of them surrounding a naked guy with a mustache. The one in front will be pointing a gun and the one next to him will be holding a futuristic mobile communication device. And let’s throw in a few of those aliens from the Mos Eisley Cantina for good measure. What’s that sound? Are you crying? Look, those art school loans aren’t going to pay themselves off. Just get painting already.

Awesome cover, excellent rug!
Thanks to Johannah!

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Giles Comments: I love the Taltos novels, but these covers actually stopped me buying the books several times – they’re so cheesy. True, the artist gets some credit for getting the jhereg (the winged reptile) approximately right, but that doesn’t really offset the general awfulness.

Tache-tastic! Thanks to Giles!

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Richard’s Art Direction: Ok, I want the devil playing chess on a life-size board with warriors from different periods of history.  Don’t forget to throw in a few other random characters, at least one man must clad in leather and a scarf and find a spot for a woman in a bathing suit with a parasol.  Then make it from the perspective of an opposing chess piece.  Yeah, those should all come together nicely.

Excellent! Thanks to Richard!

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A hunky swordsman, an old Robin Hood character, and a strange female sorceress. Now, because our trio are wanting to keep themselves undercover, give the hunky one a Zorro mask to cover his eyebrows and nose. No-one will ever know his true identity. No-one!

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I’m thinking book covers are normally so unrealistic. They have things that are so unbelievable it would make your mother cry. Not us! I propose, a photographic quality drawing of a military man placing his shined boot on the head of his latest kill: a giant ant insect alien creature. It will be just like they are back in the great war…. with aliens…

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Musketeers are sooo awesome… Could we get one on the cover, drawing his sword, with some huge glowing red energy eminating from the blade which in turn is revealing a guys evil green eye and obvious evil twin goatee?