Good Show Sir

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Jen’s Art Direction: A book about telepaths, you say?  You’re blowing my mind.  In fact, that’s just what we need on the cover!  A man with his head exploding!  And if that doesn’t just scream sci-fi, we’ll put him in coveralls and put after-images of him all over the place.  Oh, and emboss it.  All of it.  I want everything to stand out.

Thanks so much to Jen!

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I’m speachless. I asked you for a mermaid, riding a merhorse on an ocean wave with a rainbow coming out of her back. But this… this is so much more. A picture like this should be kept in the Louvre.

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Imagine this. The cover of the book, on the cover of the book.. wait for it .. being struck by lightning and going on fire! Don’t worry about drawing another cover on the cover that’s on the cover. With this we will blow peoples minds.

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Excuse me, Sir, there is a phone call for you.

Art Director: Is it ready?
Mysterious caller: It’s more glorious than you could ever imagine.
Art Director: You remembered the…
Mysterious caller: Vampire, Minotaur, Robot, Damsel, Roman man in toga with sword, Angel and death star?
Art Director: Don’t forget Saberhagen.. he must be in there to! Mu hahahahahahaaha!
Mysterious caller: MU hahahahahahahaahhahaaha
Art Director: No… only I may laugh! Mu hahahaahahahah!
Mysterious caller: ………………………

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Think of your target audience, 15 year old boys and 39 year old single males still living with their parents. So that would be, a women with an unimaginable rack walks in space across….liquid alien gooey stuff….and then just throw in a red computer grid and some flying male/female symbols. Sorted! We’ve pretty much got a winner!

Thanks to Mairi!

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You know what the 1970′s scream? Car movies and Shaft. Everyone against the MAN! So kinda like those films but with a wind powered car, some small alien dude, an alien sting ray, spears, horrific landscape and some hot alien amazon chick pushing out her chest. Dig it!

Thanks so much to – guess who? – of course, the legend ChrisR!

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So with a title like this, one has to be careful. I was thinking of a sweeping landscape and a storm brewing on the horizon.  Silhouetted over the coming clouds and setting sun would be some hands in chains and…… Sorry? You just want busty sword welding chicks and a chained male.  Ha! Who would approve that?

(Slightly breaks our rules as this is probably comedy – but it is another bank holiday weekend for UK readers! Have fun!)

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You know what people are into these days… dressing up like strange animal creatures. So put a couple of people talking to some weird bunny person.. just like the convention we were at last week! Except less of the, you know, horrible single 45 year old men looking for sex. Take away from that with a huge space ship in the sky with the author’s name printed in horrible fonts.

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A huge hunky man with bulging muscles and a loincloth that just about covers his ass with a sword symbolically hanging down from it. Oh and have him holding a huge spear with his taught sweaty arms.Wait – better make this a little less fabulous – add in a dragon that he might be about to kill… or seduce….

Thanks to CSA!

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So on this cover I want a vision of the future! I ponder what shall humanity meet? Aliens? OR a huge dragon lizard alien!?! And how shall man react? Peacefully? Or will they be blasting away at it with a shoulder mounted laser gun, wearing tight grey jump suits and wielding their horrendous mullets or bowl cuts… God… I can’t wait for the year 2015.