Good Show Sir

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Look, I am busy – what the hell do you want? Cover ideas? My god, man. You’re new here, right? Here’s the sheet, it has everything we need. Huge terrible multicoloured fonts, obligatory best selling author line and something like a women in a space suit looking generally awful. Don’t worry kid, you’ll pick it up soon enough. Then you’ll be one with us. Don’t run… don’t run…

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Naked people? You’re right, we can’t have two yellow glowing buck-naked people standing on some far away planet, with the man pointing upwards towards some awful green moon that takes up 80% of the cover. Oh I know, cover their jibblets with some storks. And we’re sorted!

Happy St. Patricks day! – Good Show Sir

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Eighties cartoons are just fantastic, aren’t they. Wait a second… What if we go for that eighties look? Muscle bond guy wearing strange straps which have no benefit and gold bracelets. Holding aloft his magic glowing sceptre. No one is going to forget this cover anytime soon!

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A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.

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I’ve been on that Good Show Sir site and I know everything at the moment is about nipples! Here my friend we will defy convention. Cleavage but no nipples. Also, she’ll be kinda silver, jumping out of awful looking flames towards a star. Oh yeahhh, consider that convention defied!

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You know what’s on the way back in terms of being considered manly? Pink! That’s right. So we’ll have a lot of it. And on top of that epic dose of man we’ll add more layers of manliness. A crewcut, a crossbow and most importantly a stomach wound. That’s one large slice of man-cake for your eyes.

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You know what you thought? You thought, you’d seen everything anyone could possibly do with a dragon. Well, you’re wrong. Three words for you to eat today, ‘Dragons In Space’! Oh yes, and trying to decipher the controls of a space ship! I mean, dragons can read, right?

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I want a  man charging into battle on his horse. But instead of a horse, lets just have some five legged reptilian esk horse creature and lets not actually have a battle, he can just be charging alone through a desert Mars landscape. Make sure the guy is only wearing a loincloth. Who cares about armour as long as your family jewels are comfortable.

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In the future pilots won’t just be piloting boring old planes or space ships. No! They’ll be piloting space scooters! Retro space scooters!! Going from space station to station, wearing their retro spacesuits and carrying their cargo of little blue blobs with little tentacles. No? Well, just draw it and hopefully it will come true by 2010.

Thanks to Dave K!

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Ok, how about this one. I’m just throwing it in there. Guy with sword, guy with gun, guy possibly naked with an american flag wrapped around him, and a guy in uniform. Now, to make sure no-one could think that this accompaniment could be anything but just good friends, make sure the sword guy has a platonic look as he ogles the blonde one.