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Oct 04

Oh Chanur... who's your hair stylist? I love what they've done with your neck hair!Click for full image

Art Direction: Look it will just be like every cover you have ever seen but this time… they’re cat people! They’ll have everything a cat would normally have like fuzzy hair, cat mouths, pointy ears but no tails. Tails, I think would be a step too far! We don’t want people to be too embarrassed when they buy it!
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Look... I'm not playing chess until you.. take off those ridiculous butterfly wings for ears!Click for full SINFULLY NAKED image

Elijah’s Art Direction: Seriously, who are we kidding? Just throw some space-tits on there and call it a day.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Sep 14

I don't remember that level in Goldeneye on the N64!Click for full image

Man of the Mountains Comments: So, we talk about mystery, mystery reader buy lots of paperbacks.  How do we get the science fantasy people — what are the names of some of the popular magazines?
Published 1950

Click here for the back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.47 out of 10)
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Aug 18

Jesus don't need no oxygen...Click for full image

Mary Comments: Accompanied by the long lost monkey cousin of Scuba Horse?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.65 out of 10)
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Aug 16

That is the strangest stomach hair I've ever seen.Click for full image

Scott Comments: Listen, dude, I hate to interrupt your sword-wielding meditation, but your hairy little man is showing.  Your “klesh,” your “ler,” whatever you call it…
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.12 out of 10)
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Aug 09

I'm here kick ass and drink buckfast... and I'm all out of bucky...Click for full image

Brittney Comments: A kilt and a skin tight pink body suit? On the same cover? Really?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.57 out of 10)
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Jun 24

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Wait no... it's sci-fi...

SteveAsat Comments: A thrilling last-minute escape from the Queens of Mercury!  “Can you do the fandango?  Then you shall DIE, Earthman!”
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.48 out of 10)
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Jun 23

Right that's it, I'm taking Canada and you can't have it back till you're sorry!Click for full image

Jaan Comments: Surprisingly, this is actually a murder mystery. Note the Kirby signature. Hopefully Jack never sank this low.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.81 out of 10)
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May 10

This will teach you for gawfing in front of a lady!Click for full image

Adam Comments: Soooooo, the editor must think blonde women in clingy semi-transparent dresses are either mutants, misfits or genetic mistakes.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.81 out of 10)
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May 05

Pfft look at all those sails. He's making up for something.Click for full image

Ian Comments: This is not a terrible cover – it quite accurately depicts the book’s contents. It’s the UK edition cover. The US cover follows..

I've been working out all day, take a whiff of this!Click for full image

Ian comments: This is what the US publisher used for the book. It is, incidentally, a steampunk space opera, with Victorians in space.
Both were published in 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.84 out of 10)
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