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Mar 05

Well, we fired the baby at them. Do we have any more? No? Time to surrender.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:
“Our toddlers will blot out the sun!”
“Then we will fight in the shade!”
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.97 out of 10)
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Feb 25

Well look at that... it's awkward uncle o'clock!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about THAT.
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.40 out of 10)
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Dec 19

AH... so the Terrans are LARPER's then! Click for slightly larger image

Frank Comments: It’s hard to tell which ones are the Martians in this picture. They all look like some of that forgotten science was pharmacological and hallucinogenic.  And if you get too close to that guy in front, he’ll help you understand what a bad trip is like.
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.39 out of 10)
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Nov 13

Hey that's my loincloth you're wearing on your neck! Give that back!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: No seriously man, I just want to take a little bit off the top!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Sep 25

The ancient Greeks called this form of death the Bellybutton Decapitation!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Stephen Comments: Words cannot do this justice. So much amaze.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.57 out of 10)
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Sep 18

In retrospect... my choice of duelling weapon wasn't the best... Click for full image

E’s Art Direction: If you could work a lime green fur shawl and a jedi-master rip off in there, that’d be great.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.06 out of 10)
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Sep 11

All he wanted was a unicorn... he had to settle for a girl-a-corn...Click for full image

Wesley Comments: Acorna’s Search,  or The Daydreams of Cosplay Fail Girl.
Published 2001

Bonus: dust jacket blurb here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.94 out of 10)
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Sep 02

It's dangerous to go alone... take this TING! with you!Click for full image

Andrew T Comments: Darth Vader, before he had the Death Star, trained crows each winter.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.54 out of 10)
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Aug 20

Is that nudity? I'm scared.... so is Space Sheep... Click for full image

Michelle G Comments: Why did you think a giant bubble would sell books?
Editor: Shut up! That’s why!
Published 1979

Thanks for sending this in, Michelle!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Jul 31

Next... on Sex in the Snow Crystal Castle of Estabreem!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Sick of the cheesy, over-wrought covers being inflicted on her books by artists, Mercedes Lackey hires a photographer.
Published 2009

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.73 out of 10)
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