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Jun 14

So how I look guys? Epic? Yeah... I wish I had stuffed this unicorn with a happy face too...Click for full image

Stephen Comments: A badly drawn Kevin Keegan with a unicorn’s head on his shield!! A UNICORN’S HEAD! ON KEVIN KEEGAN’S MAGIC SHIELD! Marvellous.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.37 out of 10)
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Jan 18

Lich Gate? Seems more like an archway to me... Click for full image

Jered Comments: It’s seriously like the artist used pictures of existing pop culture icons to model their characters. Matthew Broderick for the hero, Hoggle from Labyrinth for the goblin dude, and possibly Joey Fatone for the dwarf.
Published 1994

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.93 out of 10)
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Oct 01

Hold it there my alien space scaly steed... I am pulling off some awesome Ting!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: I want a seriously bronzed (think gallons of Man-Tan) hero on a gryphonish thing with wings growing out of his butt.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Apr 10

The tall lady does not look at all impressed with that space ship!Click for full image

Richard Comments: The spaceman in the foreground is both scared and turned on.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.09 out of 10)
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Oct 28

I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a dwarf!Click for full image

Don Comments: “Helmets with bunny ears will overpower helmets with horns every time.  So sayeth Ason the Incredibly Bored!”
Published 1973

Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.43 out of 10)
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May 10

Get into that ship or you'll have to sleep with the fat ewok!Click for full image

Hex Comments: The guy on the left is a sort of expert undercover first contact agent, whose job is to alter the course of developing cultures on newly-discovered worlds to suit the needs of Earth. How he manages to do it while being chafed by that jockstrap I will never understand. Sometimes I gaze at the Yeti in a jumper while I try to figure it out.

Incidentally, this book is spattered with grimly bad black and white illustrations that completely contradict the style of the cover. Nice work, Ace!

Excellent! Thanks Hex!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.23 out of 10)
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Apr 30

Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays!  So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.

These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.

Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.

Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!

To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57

Before I kill you could you lift me onto my horse? This armour is pretty heavy.Click for full image

No seriously, green, completely makes you look more menacing.. hahahahahaHA!Click for full image

My robo crotch is exploding!Click for full image

They are the most evil triangle cuff-links I have ever seen.Click for full image

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.05 out of 10)
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Apr 15

These collections of books were submitted by Eron Rauch. Thanks to Eron for making my day full of Icelandic volcano ash that little bit easier! Check out Eron’s site www.eronrauch.com which shows off some of his great photography, some of it also brilliantly nerdy!

That's no moon...Click for full image

Eron Comments: The first of three in this series. I mean, how else do I explain it more than the title “Camelot in Orbit”, except I don’t really understand logic of the title, since they seem to be on another planet. I guess technically that planets are in orbit, but that’s rather redundant. Also, King Arthur seems to be riding a beaked dinosaur that is so pathetic that He-Man would be caught near it. I mentioned that before right? A fecking armored dinosaur.

Who would have thought, Merlin.. a carebear!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The second in the series, I think, I mean it’s hard for me to care really, but this cover is passably bad until you notice the creepy-as-sin inbred ewok/mogwai knock-off sitting just to the bottom left of the girl. Staring. Into your soul with hollow black eyes. Seriously the stuff of nightmares.

HEY! How come the ash from that burning doesn't ground that space ship... grrrrrr!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The third in this utterly original series. Which features “Magick” with the added “k” which must mean serious fantasy is about to be had! In addition, we get a phenomenal rendering of the back of some random knight and a severely constipated dragon trying desperately to crap himself in terror at the War of the Worlds spaceship blowing the hell our of it’s castle with a laser that comes from nowhere.

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.98 out of 10)
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Mar 23

Ah ha, my dear. Your skills are lacking, but your light bloom confuses my blonde mind.Click for full image

Chess? I’m sure that’s interesting and all but that gives me nothing to work with. No wait.. it does. Pink! Pink everything up, go for the windowed look, and make sure there are lots of things blurred slightly by the light. Maybe they’ll miss out on the chess part completely!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.35 out of 10)
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Nov 19

You all seem to be on fire. Here let me put you out with my sword! Ah HAClick for full image

A heavily armoured sword wielding knight on a metal horse attacks some smoking animals. Why are they smoking? For effect my dear boy! And possibly magic. Anyway, make sure those animals are mean! I want red eyes and snarls!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.46 out of 10)
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