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Jul 23

GET OFF ME BUILDING HEXAGONS YOU DAMN DIRTY SPACE SHIPS!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Headline – Planet Sized Monster Brings Sword Just In Case!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Jun 03

She was incredibly sensitive about her long-leg-itus!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Andy SSRAT Comments: A cover I spotted in a down under book shop.  Just had to buy it!
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.63 out of 10)
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Jun 02

My ting! Is bigger than your ting!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Time to see who has the biggest TING!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.44 out of 10)
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Apr 02

Is that a prehistoric unicorn!?!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: You spilled your whiskey all over the cover art! No time to redo it. Just sponge it off and get it out the door. It has to be at the printer’s today.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Mar 05

Well, we fired the baby at them. Do we have any more? No? Time to surrender.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:
“Our toddlers will blot out the sun!”
“Then we will fight in the shade!”
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.98 out of 10)
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Feb 19

If you think I feel bad about getting captured... how do you think the guy climbing up below me feels?Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: Sorry Mr. Burroughs but your first Mars book didn’t sell many copies in our Southern bookstores. Perhaps you need a more menacing villain. Our new cover artist has some fresh ideas.
Published 1952

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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Feb 07

Amazingly impractical fantasy sword... check!Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: With this cover, it’s the little things. Such as ‘Her right hand has a weak grip on the handle.’ And ‘The bat on the pommel would make it hard to sheathe the blade.’ And ‘Goodness, is that MY face?’
Published 2013

Back cover blurb here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.79 out of 10)
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Jan 14

Looks like we picked the right week to perm our hair!!Click for full image

Scott Comments: Billy Ray Cyrus and the chick from “Showgirls” fight monsters.  Including the green slime monster from “Ghostbusters”.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.09 out of 10)
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Jan 09

Worst... dentist... ever...Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: Welcome to a new game of Spot The Rockstar! Among this week’s line-up are: Brian May, Ozzy Osbourne, Eddie van Halen, Steve Harris, Jimmy Page, Ian Gillan, John Deacon, Glenn Tipton, Dave Brock, and the ever elusive drum legend Alan Moore.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.97 out of 10)
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Dec 04

Look... I'm not saying he's a great model... all I am saying is that he's cheap!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Scott B Comments: Perhaps there is someone, somewhere, who can tell what’s going on in this cover.  All I know is that the face-teeth are really creeping me out.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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