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Jan 21

Looks like I picked the right war to shave my arm pits! Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Frog people, monkey people, fish people and lizard people? It’s like it’s Tag Wizard’s birthday!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Jan 13

Look could we hurry up... I've put on a bit of weight over Christmas and this fixed breast plate is killing me. Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I am SO sorry, Mrs. Goliath, I had no idea.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.24 out of 10)
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Oct 08

Is that a gun or cake? Ah to hell with it... I'm going to shoot...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: With a sinking heart, Brad realized their skin-tight glam-rock outfits would not be an effective disguise in the forest.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.95 out of 10)
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Sep 13

EYE.. can show you the world.... sorry... I'll get my coat!Click full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Yep… this version of Aladdin was way more awesome!
Published 1990

Many thanks to Cowles!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Aug 26

Green women love a well manicured hand!Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: Most boys go through a phase where they wish they could summon a nude She-Hulk to this world. Though most boys put more thought into the relative scale.
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Aug 09

Helper Monkey's are always evil...Click for full image

DPN Comments: It’s a game – Find the five odd honours depicted on this book cover.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.27 out of 10)
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Jul 12

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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Jul 08

John! Stop looking at his muscular thighs and help us!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: What have you done to me, you monsters? I can’t lower my arms! I CAN’T LOWER MY ARMS!!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.66 out of 10)
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May 28

I am NOT asking for directions... It's right over the next crater... I think...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Look out! No brakes!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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May 01

Seriously? Don't look Merman... you'll just encourage her!Click for full image

DPN Comments: I couldn’t resist buying this one. I hope this cover is an accurate depiction of a scene in the book, because I really want to know what’s going here.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.79 out of 10)
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