Good Show Sir

Happy New Year!

Well another year is here, I am just about over my hang over and of course back in work! So it’s time to start again and see what exciting covers we can find to brighten our days. Last year didn’t see a cover which had the power to beat, I Sing the Body Electric. But maybe this year… maybe…

Thanks to everyone who has sent in covers and comments! You all bring such entertainment to our lives. And of course thank you to all those amazing publishers, without you and your art direction where would Good Show Sir be?

Last year was very exciting now that I think about it. And my quest for terrible Sci-Fi/fantasy book covers also led to the best conversation ever in a second hand book store.

Shop Assistant: Wow.. that cover is so bad!!!
Me: Yeah isn’t it? That’s kinda why I am buying it actually.
Shop Assistant: Really? Awesome. You should start some sort of website to show covers like these.
Me: I have…
Shop Assistant: ……
And nothing more was said. Here is the book I bought.

The top rated cover of the year:

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A Personal Favourite:

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CSA Chooses dragon crotch!

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And of course, how could we not mention the cover that started a censoring legend:

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Scot B’s Art Direction: OK, I see a redheaded woman wearing overalls, but still half-naked, being gnawed on by ghost wolves while a dragon explodes from her crotch.  The dragon’s chasing a guy with a flaming orange on his jumpsuit.  And a purple polka-dotted gnome fortune-teller!  It’s a masterpiece I tell you!  What’s that, you say the name of the book is what?  Well, just throw a spiderweb around everything, that’ll work.
Published 1980

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Zycrow’s Art Direction:
“So the art director told me he needed hot air balloons and they needed to be badass. How am I going to do that?”
“Easy. Add spikes.”
“Oh, that’s good. Like how many? Three? Four?”
“All of them. All of the spikes. Oh, and a dinosaur, and some wolves. That oughta cover it.”
Published 1980

Many thanks to Zycrow!

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You know the two things that make everything look fantastic? Glow and blur. The best photoshop tools money can buy. So we’ll have a glowing blurry tattooed man with a wolves head! And some girl with some glowly blurry transparency around her. Make sure the title is huge and don’t forget to blur what you can.

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A heavily armoured sword wielding knight on a metal horse attacks some smoking animals. Why are they smoking? For effect my dear boy! And possibly magic. Anyway, make sure those animals are mean! I want red eyes and snarls!

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I want you to listen to me, very carefully! Wolf howls up to the sky while a dragon flies in the background with a knight on its back. Again in the foreground a bowl cut man stands, his hand grasped firmly and suggestively around his sword.  If you want to see your family again you will draw what I tell you.

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I’m not one to stray from tradition.  I’m talking about a dragon in the background, as black as…. uh… AC/DC? Peering at our antagonist will be a huge white wolf and her damsel companion holding the tiniest of flames. Remember, I am also talking traditional proportions here, so make sure nothing is sized relative to anything else. Now who’s up for some Hells’ Bells?

Art direction: Right, so give me a dirty big white werewolf on top of an open space ship with some guy laying dead. Have the werewolf carry a bag of water or something and, you know, just make the whole thing look generally terrible.

Art direction: The question is, what shouldn’t we have on the cover? Have a purple prince stabbing at a furry green wolfman with a couple of guys watching in the background.. one of them has to have four arms.