Mar 11
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When you think of a daemonic ritual you think about, gold five pointed stars, lots of gargoyle creatures sitting around and a golden sparkle female rising up in a plume of golden magic with the sharpest of teeth, right? No? Well just draw it or you don’t get paid!

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Tagged with: daemons • damsel • evil • glow • John Whitbourn • magic • wtf
Mar 08
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Thanks to Nix who says:
_Patterns of Chaos_ is a slightly famous book with a lot of amazing setpiece scenes which could have been used for the cover, starting with the destruction of entire planets, meticulously described, and ending with a transgalactic trip to a memorably unpleasant destination. If any book counts as overblown space opera, this one does.
So what did they use for the cover? A scowling cowled bloke, a weird plant, a badly-designed castle and a random number generator.

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Tagged with: alien city • Award Books • Colin Kapp • hunk • monks • strange artefact • wtf
Mar 02
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So lets say we have a black man and I really mean black. We’ll have him dressed in white skin, with nipples, because without the nipples it would just look strange. I am sure we can fob it off as social commentary. As long as we have the nipples.

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Tagged with: hunk • Poul Anderson • wtf
Feb 24
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Throw out this idea of a whole picture and think layers. Just concentrate on four of them, a women with a bad hair cut firing a laser, a tiny women in a floating tea cup, a huge bald guy about to attack and some people in an arena watching. Slap it all together and we’re sorted!

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Tagged with: Anne McCaffrey • damsel • Elizabeth Moon • lasers • space • wtf
Feb 17
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I don’t know where I’ve been for the past few days but I found this written on the back of my hand. Blue black skin, golden eyes, brain tubes, explosions, horrified expression, spaced out look, glass dome head. Oh wait, it’s just all the classic symptoms of reading a collection of Sci-Fi stories.

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Tagged with: alien • Arthur C. Clarke • Brian W. Aldiss • Christopher Priest • Corgi Books • Donald A. Wollheim • E. C. Tubb • Good Show Sir • Harry Harrison • James White • John Kippax • John Rackham • Kenneth Bulmer • Laurence James • space • Sydney J. Bounds • wtf
Feb 09
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Oh, I know: I had this strange dream last night, possibly a nightmare. We’ll have a horse, the mare, charging through a book case, transparent like a ghost, into the view of a typical accountant type. Lapels and booze bottles around him, just like real life. Just kidding of course, we’ll have to make him look like he’s washed recently.

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Tagged with: Darrell K. Sweet • horse • magic • Orbit Books • Piers Anthony • potions • tome • wtf • Xanth series
Feb 05
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You know what a book cover can never have enough of? That’s right chum, text. Lets fire as much on there as possible. And possibly some worm creature being attacked by guys with guns. But that’s secondary, no in fact it’s tertiary, to the fonts with their various marvelous colours and shapes.

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Tagged with: Ace Books • aliens • Dream Park series • font problems • guns • Larry Niven • space ships • Steven Barnes • unknown artist • wtf
Jan 28
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Ok! What would gods normally do, while inhabiting the body of a busty half naked women? Hmmm, how about standing by a sweet tower glowing oddly, on all fours in front of some sort of cat creature and swinging a sword about to decapitate a snake. Gods are all about the sexual innuendo! Yeaaaaahhhhaaa!
Thanks to David D!

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Tagged with: bird • cleavage • damsel • glow • J. R. Mitchell • lizards • magic • unknown artist • unknown publisher • wtf
Jan 21
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Nothing sells books better than Jesus! Just look at the sales of the Bible, top seller every year. So we’ll have three crosses on a hill, that’s the Jesus part. Then some guy kneeling next to a bleeding fleshy cocoon, that’s the sci-fi part. With this cover, we’re fulfilling the prophecy! Just kidding, now get me more coffee!

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Tagged with: blue blob of awesomeness • Jim Burns • mainstream religion • Michael Moorcock • Orion Books • SF Masterworks • wtf
Jan 12
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EVIL CHILDREN! With red eyes! And lasers coming from an evil red orb or possibly some sort of moon, lighting up the evil child with even more red! And People! Just watching the red moon! Ok, I’m calmed down, what’s this about a book cover?

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Tagged with: Avon Science Fiction • evil children • Hector Garrido • lasers • magic • People series • wtf • Zenna Henderson
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