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Nov 12

Not to worry my lord! I'll shave this... HIPPY... with my sword!Click for full image

Art Direction: You know when facial hair becomes so intense it actually takes over your head? Well exactly like that, also with an evil blue guy and a king. Oh and a princess! And a guy with a sword! Ah, just put everything on there within a glorious yellow boarder!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.74 out of 10)
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Nov 03

One has to keep his tentacles warm with stockings!Click for full UNCENSORED image

Terry’s Art Direction: The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about a cure for cancer is – naked chicks! I want you to put in 4 naked women and have their heads blowing up and an Albino man’s corpse emerging from them. Think you can do that? I know it’s a stretch, but . . .
Published 1976

I give this one Michael Crawford!
Many thanks to Terry!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.85 out of 10)
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Nov 01

Cover yourself up man! Your tackle is scaring me horse!Click for full image

Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book. A few highlights –

  • The sword dissolving into blue dust
  • The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
  • The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
  • And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.45 out of 10)
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Oct 29

“You have to have a sense of humor, darling, to be alive. Even a bit mad. It helps to be mad.”
Peter Cushing

Welcome readers to a world of fear, pain, man-tigers, wizards, mind bending horror and damsels in distress. Here we have a collection of the scariest covers sent in by our followers, or should I call them… minions! mu HA HA HA HAAAAA!

Anyway, I hope people have a good Halloween weekend and if you are dressing up or at least watching the fabulous 1958 Hammer Horror version of Dracula, I hope you all have a great time.

I see Nicholas Cage is still 'acting'.Click for full image

Libraryman’s Art Direction: Ok, now this is a scary book right? Well, what’s better than skulls? Am I right? I want a big one though, yeah I don’t care that real skulls don’t look that big, what am I an anatomist?? Oh and a crab claw. Gotta have a crab claw.
Published 1987

Not known to many - Toads, a zombies best friend!Click for full image

Neil’s Art Direction: A flooded city burns in the background, they’ll be a rotting head in the water. Nah, thats not enough, lets add something else. A toad maybe.
Published 1993

Horns? No, our race call them crotch gougers. No idea why....MU HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Graham’s Art Direction: This is a collection of horror stories by a world-famous author, so I really want you to go to town on the cover art. Try and capture the gothic-horror aspect: make the reader feel that these stories could be taking place right now in his own neighborhood. [looks at this quarter’s finances] Ah, never mind, we’ll just send them something from one of those sci-fi books that got canceled.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.14 out of 10)
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Oct 28

I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a dwarf!Click for full image

Don Comments: “Helmets with bunny ears will overpower helmets with horns every time. So sayeth Ason the Incredibly Bored!”
Published 1973

Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Oct 27

This is my hair dryer and you can't have it!Click for full image

Danielle Comments: The title phrase says – One man against a wonder planet. Yeah. I wonder why these guys are dressed like some weird bird-fetish group. I wonder why one is holding a ray gun, while the rest have swords. I wonder why they have to have a bird emblazoned on their chest. I guess it’s in case someone misses the fact that they’re full grown men dressed as giant birds
Published 1963

Many thanks to Danielle!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.98 out of 10)
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Oct 15

I have been enjoying the delights of Helsinki this week and I have had a wonderful time. Well, except for the price of beer! 7 Euros for a pint! It makes me want to cry!

In honour I decided to search through a couple of the book shops here for the Finnish versions of some popular Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Some of them are just a little odd and a couple do make me laugh.

I hope you all enjoy these wonderful covers!

Am I supposed to be missing a finger?Click for full image

RunClick for full image

Well, we haven't gone off the map, more onto it.Click for full image

Its hard to see how badly photoshopped this one is.Click for full image

What luck.. they sent the blind soldiers after us.Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Sep 13

Look, I'm not talking till you put some dam trousers on!Click for full image

Stevie Comments: Samuel Delaney’s Neveryona is so-over-the-top hetero soft porn. And the lead character is supposedly gay! What a bubble butt he’s got! I wish I had one of those! And what’s he doing with that giant sword, anyway?
Published 1983

Amazing! Many thanks to Stevie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.28 out of 10)
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Sep 10

Quick use your mighty sword! Hey... that's a flail!Click for full image

Noah Comments:
Published 1977

Many thanks to Noah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.15 out of 10)
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Sep 02

Join me and together we could tailor the universe!Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Everything about the closer man’s outfit is amazing, from his puffy velvet shirt covered with large gold buttons and trousers striped with red and blue, to the leopard print trim on his girdle. The other man’s garbage sack outfit is no match.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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