Oct 16
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Hello there sir, could I stop you for a quick survey today? Excellent. Imagine that we gave you a cover that included terrible fonts, a man with a very chiseled chin in some sort of armour, holding his short bow. Then pump tons of strange glows and lens flare on places you’d not expect. On scale of one to ten, how likely are you going to take this on a bus with you? Sir? Come back! Sir?
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Tagged with: archery weapons • bracers • Corgi Books • David Gemmell • dude • font problems • glow • Hey Arnohld • John Howe • long haired men • magical orbs • shortbow
Sep 14
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With books today, you know what people are too obsessed with? That’s right, art! Why not (and you are going to love this) just have a female model dressed up as a pirate, teasing a little as she holds her swords to her lofty chest. With the addition of a terrible font we’ll draw a completely accurate picture of how things were like in ‘ye olden days.’
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Tagged with: Berkley Books • bladed weapons • bracers • cleavage • daggers • damsel • Elizabeth Vaughan • Epic of Palins series • sword • Unknown Artist Institute • waistcoat
Sep 08
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Right, with a title like that I mean it’s self explanatory, we’ll put a dragon there. What? A bikinni clad busty women with a bow and arrow? Well I don’t see….. and a space ship? But..but….oh alright then, but I’m going to give the women some furs to cover her shame. And by shame I clearly mean shoulders! Yeahhh! High five anyone? Anyone….?
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Tagged with: archery weapons • Baen Books • BEHIND YOU! • bikini • bladed weapons • bracers • capes • cleavage • Clyde Caldwell • damsel • dragon • Duke Edmund Talbolt series • forest • furs • John Ringo • loincloth • mountains • perspective problems • shortbow • space ships • sword
Sep 02
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Science fiction is mainly read by what gender? Males! Exactly! So therefore we should have a big hunk of a long haired lumberjack man, topless, showing off his muscles and tugging on his rope. Don’t forget to add a bird in there! If ya know what I mean, nod nod wink wink!
Thanks so much to Chris R!
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Tagged with: beard-wielding • bird • bracers • Corgi Books • dude • Good Show Sir • long haired men • muscles • Patrick Woodroffe • Piers Anthony • strange creature
Aug 28
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So with a title like this, one has to be careful. I was thinking of a sweeping landscape and a storm brewing on the horizon. Silhouetted over the coming clouds and setting sun would be some hands in chains and…… Sorry? You just want busty sword welding chicks and a chained male. Ha! Who would approve that?
(Slightly breaks our rules as this is probably comedy – but it is another bank holiday weekend for UK readers! Have fun!)
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Tagged with: Baen Books • bladed weapons • bracers • Chicks In Chainmail series • cleavage • cloaks • damsel • Esther Friesner • font problems • inadequate armor • jeans and a t-shirt • Larry Elmore • loincloth • omnibus • once you see it • shields • sword
Apr 27
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Magical orb, merlin apparition, surprised expression, terrible haircuts, horrific blue robe, cheesy green and gold crest, nerd throne, chains leading to nowhere, potions, books…. huh? Oh I’m just saying random words… think you could get it all in there?
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Tagged with: Ace Books • blunt weapons • bracers • castle • Chronicles of the Deryni series • cloaks • Katherine Kurtz • knights • magic • Matt Stawicki • merlin • staff • throne
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