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Feb 22

Sorry... what? Responded the robber.Click for full image

Phil’s Art Direction: Look, no one will guess that this book is about futuristic police, unless you paint POLICE onto the side of that hovership. While you’re at it, give that policeman an unusually large face. I hear that’s how policemen will look centuries hence.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.79 out of 10)
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Nov 18

It's not that I don't want to look at the planet exploding... it's just really hard to turn in this suit.Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: Does this suit make my package look too small? Or anything else, for that matter?
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.21 out of 10)
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Aug 18

Jesus don't need no oxygen...Click for full image

Mary Comments: Accompanied by the long lost monkey cousin of Scuba Horse?
Published 1982

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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Jun 20

RIGHT! Who brought me back after 500,000 years without a penis! WHO!?!Click for full image

Ian Comments: Reach for your gun! A man wearing nothing but a couple of spangly lights has just materialised and is scaring the women!
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.06 out of 10)
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May 05

Pfft look at all those sails. He's making up for something.Click for full image

Ian Comments: This is not a terrible cover – it quite accurately depicts the book’s contents. It’s the UK edition cover. The US cover follows..

I've been working out all day, take a whiff of this!Click for full image

Ian comments: This is what the US publisher used for the book. It is, incidentally, a steampunk space opera, with Victorians in space.
Both were published in 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Mar 30

Click for full image

Whitney Comments: Night Fevah! Night Fevaaaah! We know how to do it!
Published 1978

Many thanks to Whitney!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Mar 24

Afros need protected in deep space. Skin? Ah who cares!?!Click for full image

Miggity’s Art Direction: Shirtless black dude in tighty whities with a space helmet and a pneumatic fishing spear gun, flanked by two white Amazonian women in see through tops giving the whole thing a weird sex vibe, with a spacecraft carrier, space figthers, four planets and sweet moon base in the foreground… PERFECT!
Published 1981

Many thanks to Miggity!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.43 out of 10)
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Feb 16

Half man.. half cat... he's a mat! I'm here all week people!Click for full image

Craig Comments: Half a catman is better than none – or one.
Published 1987

Many thanks to Craig!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.72 out of 10)
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Dec 16

Dude! I'm totally going to catch the space dragon....Click for full image

Elfi Comments: Nothing says “serious astronaut” like Steven Tyler in a bubble-helmet.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Elfi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Mar 19

To be fair, at least this space suit doesn't hug my figure.Click for full image

Look, I am busy – what the hell do you want? Cover ideas? My god, man. You’re new here, right? Here’s the sheet, it has everything we need. Huge terrible multicoloured fonts, obligatory best selling author line and something like a women in a space suit looking generally awful. Don’t worry kid, you’ll pick it up soon enough. Then you’ll be one with us. Don’t run… don’t run…

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.13 out of 10)
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