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Jun 30

Ah to roll around in treasure while touching my nipples... a god's life!Click for full image

Dorian’s Art Direction: What do you mean, there are no scantily clad women in the story? No werewolf? No heaps of treasure? No weird monster consisting entirely of teeth and wings? Ah, who cares? No-one ever looks at these things anyway.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.56 out of 10)
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Jun 29

Damn this magical nakedness. No need for the censor sheep yet again!

Joachim Comments: Girl with strategically placed stars (of course). Chola eyebrows and bleached blonde hair with walking shark with gill piercing/oops, I mean a chain-leash…. And she has claws of course — see, the cover is derived entirely from the TITLE!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.18 out of 10)
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Jun 07

Does that boat have wings?Click for full image

Phil Comments: Why John, you are so odd that I must hide behind these conveniently positioned but otherwise random spikes. But at least you’ve noticed me, which makes you not quite as odd as you used to be back in the days of: Odd John.


Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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May 19

No... don't sing a whole new world! It will summon death!Click for full image

Matt’s Art Direction: Fabric! I want to see lots of fabric. And hands, lots of dramatically posed hands. And least one bare breast, only you’ll have to conceal the nipple with something. How about a cross?
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.09 out of 10)
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May 13

Someone enjoys the smell of their armpits a bit too much!Click for full SHOCKINGLY UNCENSORED image

Art Direction: Lets get this done with, I have a squash game to get to! Right, got it! Half women, the topless half I might add and half… I don’t know… Golden retriever?
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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May 09

And now we will explain the new governmental policies through the form of... interpretive dance!Click for full image

Kelly Comments: Bikini-wearing sorceress…fish guy in a toga…Robin Hood type cat-woman.. in a cathedral??
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.71 out of 10)
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May 03

Well that was one messed up orgy, I'm off to cut some wood!Click for full image

E Comments: The giant soda can in the background is the clincher.
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.83 out of 10)
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Apr 26

Ah whales... when will they learn they can never win against science. Those bastards.Click for full image

Christal Comments: Unbeknownst to the author, the night before the cover art was due the artist stayed up all night smoking weed and watching The Mummy and Star Trek IV on an endless loop all night long.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.45 out of 10)
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Apr 14

Ah the ole dragon crotch, I can give you a cream for that.Click for full image

Scot B’s Art Direction: OK, I see a redheaded woman wearing overalls, but still half-naked, being gnawed on by ghost wolves while a dragon explodes from her crotch. The dragon’s chasing a guy with a flaming orange on his jumpsuit. And a purple polka-dotted gnome fortune-teller! It’s a masterpiece I tell you! What’s that, you say the name of the book is what? Well, just throw a spiderweb around everything, that’ll work.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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Mar 29

: |Click for full image

Cathal’s Art Direction: It’s quite simple. A flaming-winged, bikini-clad woman with a sun for a head, rising out of a lopsided cauldron. And an amazon with a flaming arrow. See if you can make the amazon lopsided too, maybe give her two left legs… Looking good!
Published 1992

Many thanks to Cathal!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.13 out of 10)
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