Good Show Sir

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Stevyn Comments: I’m ashamed to say that I was the artist in this case. A terrible cover for what is possibly the worst fantasy book ever written.

And with such great lines in this book such as, ‘The effeminate albino pursed his thick lips in that certain way to suggest he was male, but homosexual.’

Read more about this on Stevyn’s website here: http://stevyncolgan.blogspot.com/2008/07/you-really-must-take-vista-be-vigil.html

Good Show Sir! Thank you for sending this in.

(Average: 8.65 out of 10)

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Richard’s Art Direction: Ok, I want the devil playing chess on a life-size board with warriors from different periods of history. Don’t forget to throw in a few other random characters, at least one man must clad in leather and a scarf and find a spot for a woman in a bathing suit with a parasol. Then make it from the perspective of an opposing chess piece. Yeah, those should all come together nicely.

Excellent! Thanks to Richard!

(Average: 8.10 out of 10)

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Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays! So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.

These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.

Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.

Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!

To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57

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(Average: 6.39 out of 10)

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Harry Comments: According to the author, this cover was commissioned for another book but somehow ended up on hers. It’s very loosely appropriate: there is a sword, and there is a hero, but he is quite explicitly gay.

Superb! Thanks Harry!

(Average: 7.83 out of 10)

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Jen comments: I was going to talk about his lack of spacesuit, or his overabundance of cleavage, or the protruding rock in space. Then I noticed that one of the strange ghost-images was smoking a cigar, and all words failed me.

Thanks to Jen! Good Find!

(Average: 8.16 out of 10)

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Women love their horses and I’m pretty sure everyone grows up wanting that pony all their life. So that’s what we’ll give ’em. Except give the horse a certain quality, an almost surprised expression as he stares off into the vast distance. And give the L&D letters of the title a black fill. I can’t see that one back-firing.

(Average: 5.81 out of 10)

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Holy crap. We need something to distract from that bright silver font we’re using. So, how about a guy with an eye patch posing with weapons and a women doing the very same thing. Put a moon in the background, and by background I mean most of the cover.

(Average: 5.32 out of 10)

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Gwad Darn it, we know from experience realism sells! If you haven’t got some models to pose for you in costume it’s just not going to sell. We’ll grab their attention with a kid hiding behind a sword fighters cape. Then we can make it shiny…

(Average: 8.37 out of 10)

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Nothinggets the attention ofwomen more than standing in the midst of an ice cavern with little clothes and showing off your bare chest. Holding your short sword in an inspiring way while standing by your Viking boat sleigh. That’s right. A boat sleigh.

(Average: 5.50 out of 10)

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Every man, or lord of the lands, needs a hairy companion. And what would they do together I hear your mind ask. Well they would go hill walking, dress in lovely princely clothes and watch the sun set together over the lands of… America? Wait… what?

(Average: 7.18 out of 10)

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