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Aug 01

The Sword of Sagamore

31 Comments »

Jesters are cool... in my kingdom... everyone will dress as jesters!Click for full image

Miranda Comments: Disproportionate armed wizard holds some kind of jester-headed marital aid. Cover reads, “it could save the kingdom, and entertain at parties!”.
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.23 out of 10)
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Jul 31

The Snow Queen

17 Comments »

Next... on Sex in the Snow Crystal Castle of Estabreem!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Sick of the cheesy, over-wrought covers being inflicted on her books by artists, Mercedes Lackey hires a photographer.
Published 2009

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Jul 19

Friday

22 Comments »

That's the thing about Fridays... more interested in cats than explosions!Click for full image

Monkey Comments: A cat, a horse and buggy, a floating cop car, explosions and… gosh that’s a nice outfit, don’t you think?
Published 1983 (Possibly)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
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Jul 16

Xanthe and the Robots

26 Comments »

Here my love, you have my heart. No really... take it! It's version 3.4!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Look all I want is a bald man with a robot heart… a comical cartoon heart! Cause that’s just what crazy futuristic electronic LSD taking engineers would do. The back? People put stuff on the back of these things? Standard woman… and we’re done!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.41 out of 10)
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Jul 15

Flesh

31 Comments »

I like my men... extra veiny... Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: I call this dance… my lady… the stag dance. Bah cha ba wa… wa… and jazz hands! What… don’t act like you aren’t impressed!
Published 1979

Many thanks to Graham for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.83 out of 10)
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Jul 12

Skyfall

30 Comments »

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Jul 11

Manalacor of Veltakin

38 Comments »

Great! I hate unoriginal novels...Click for full image

Frank Comments: I’m wondering how long the artist made the lady hold that pose, and whether she got sunburn.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.53 out of 10)
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Jul 08

Conan the Gladiator

28 Comments »

John! Stop looking at his muscular thighs and help us!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: What have you done to me, you monsters? I can’t lower my arms! I CAN’T LOWER MY ARMS!!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.32 out of 10)
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Jul 05

On Wings of Song

26 Comments »

You have the right to remain fabulous!Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: Amazingly, this is about the most tasteful cover for this I’ve seen. The original hardback had a 90% return rate, which makes sense when you see what they put on it.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.06 out of 10)
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Jul 03

Meanwhile

28 Comments »

Followed by the sequel... Anyway... Click for full image

David A Comments: Blonde in a bikini? Check! Sex god in thong armour? Check! Aliens? Check! Castle? Check! Erupting volcano? Check! But oh, wait, what’s that say on the front? Fully illustrated??
Published 1979

Click here for a gallery of the (NSFW) interior artwork (including a naked sea lion/woman hybrid with a baby!)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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