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Sep 11

All he wanted was a unicorn... he had to settle for a girl-a-corn...Click for full image

Wesley Comments: Acorna’s Search, or The Daydreams of Cosplay Fail Girl.
Published 2001

Bonus: dust jacket blurb here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.66 out of 10)
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Aug 26

Green women love a well manicured hand!Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: Most boys go through a phase where they wish they could summon a nude She-Hulk to this world. Though most boys put more thought into the relative scale.
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.84 out of 10)
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Jan 11

Ok so you have the magical one... did you really need to get into the rose bush though?Click for full image

Frank Comments: I suppose I can understand how this got sorted in with the romance paperbacks, just from the color. But this is why I look through theromance paperbacks, so I can rescue the books that need it and put them over in the SF&F section.
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.45 out of 10)
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Dec 13

Ok lets do this gun fight. Everyone got your... ah who am I kidding. Crane... you are screwed!Click for full image

Marmontoast Comments: Evidently, there really is a bird-like entity in the novel, deciding humanity’s fate. If only it could answer its mobile phone!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.15 out of 10)
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Oct 11

I think NYC needs to think about what it spends its tourism budget on.Click for full image

Gavin Comments: A crap looking Marlon Brando inexplicably appears in the New York skyline.
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Jul 30

Sorry your book continues zero Space Sheep... eject her into space!Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: The Galactic Writers’ Society’s annual outing got decidedly less high-brow as the day wore on.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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Dec 14

Everyone loves robot limbo!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: Make the armour shiny… it’s a David Drake book!
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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May 30

What can I say, the snake really knows where to rip my clothes!Click for full image

Jen Comments: All I can say is, anyone who actually bought this for the cover is going to be VERY disappointed.
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.27 out of 10)
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Sep 15

She doesn't have to be naked. I just thought it would be funny to tell her she had to be.Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Usually when there’s a naked woman on the front of a book it’s to titillate the viewer, but this brave artist went against convention and made the most unappealing cover he could think of.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Jan 20

As hard as I try I just can't get leather cat suits that accommodate my ridiculous chest!Click for full image

You know what all guns should have? Large magazine, maybe. Insanely large silencer on the end, possibly. A leather clad busty blonde, you’re almost there. Nope? All guns should have a guitar hero controller. When wouldn’t you want to stop fighting and starpower some AC/DC?!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.89 out of 10)
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