Scott Comments: This little piggy levitated glowing hourglasses, this little piggy immolated itself, this little piggy performed a Satanic ritual and was possessed by a demon…
Published 1982
Scott Comments: This little piggy levitated glowing hourglasses, this little piggy immolated itself, this little piggy performed a Satanic ritual and was possessed by a demon…
Published 1982
Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a cover that depicts the author’s existential angst and self-loathing. Just kidding! Draw a naked broad with big gazongas on it and call it a day. Ooh, and maybe have a bird squawking at her.
Published 1993
Click for slightly bigger picture
Alessandra Comments: The cover isn’t really awful, although it is pretty behind the curve for 1975. What got me was the hideous font lightning effect, the confusing typography (the title is actually “The Blood Stones”), and the extreme genericness of the cover — oh, and the Conan-gets-a-mullet hairdo.
Published 1975
GK Comments: When you point your finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you.
Published 2004
Tag Wizard Comments: We’re on holiday this week. Enjoy these blasts from the past!
Jason Comments: Thank God I started buying invisible eggs, that blonde would’ve ruined my red-heads omelette!
Published 1967
Tom Noir Comments: Honestly, I’m rooting for the rat.
Published 1979
Mangraa’s Art Direction: We need a different cover for the Vor Game! Do that, “soldier being led to jail”, scene we talked about. Only make the prisoner a clone… no, a SMALLER VERSION clone of the Captain! Genius! And make sure the Captain smells what mini-clone did while crossing the Captain’s path. Irresistible!
Published 1990
Click for full TOP-SHELF image
Claire’s Art Direction: Hum, riders on the wind. Well obviously lots of wind in a pretty colour, and a rider – I know, a naked chick with body tats. Throw in some standard fantasy stuff, like a castle and a wizard dude et voila!
Published 1988
Frank Comments: Spotted in the Russian-language section at our Friends of the Library sale. The only English-language word was “fantasy” on the spine. I’m illiterate in Russian.
Published 1997 (maybe)
Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Now look Horne, you’re a good artist, but you’ve got a thing or two to learn. See, this cover of yours, it’s just not realistic. Does this guy look like he just walked out of an explosion? No. He still has body hair. The fire would have burned it all off! Take this back and I don’t want to see it again until it looks like he’s fresh from a wax job.
Published 1994
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