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Sep 20

Look out dearest, here comes a man with better eyebrows than you.Click for full image

Clay Comments:This junior-high rendition of what seems to be a mad scientist and his platinum-haired babe along with their webbed victims has absolutely nothing to do with this book. Bryant is a very literary writer with a New Wave bent.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.77 out of 10)
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Aug 23

Awkk... just another Friday night in the centre of Glasgow.Click for full image

Scott B Comments: I heartily approve of the Space Moose steed here, but the culture clash of the Native American / Scots clothing is really messing with my mind. And the giant fiery phoenix hair. I guess this isn’t one of the four books my planetary civilization needs.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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Jul 03

Some girls want ponies... others want orc armies!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Boarders and frames are the window to one’s soul my friend! Just make sure this soul has a perm and a great pair of… candles… ah ha ha ha. Of course I really mean boobs.
Published 1989

P.S. I’ll hopefully have the ratings working again later today!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.41 out of 10)
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Jun 12

When conductors go bad!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Well it’s the 1980’s, so whats popular at the moment? Oh I know, why not put Rutger Hauer jumping on the back of an over-sized gremlin!! I mean that’s in the book… right? What!?! You didn’t read it either! It’s his 23rd book in the saga, I just assumed he’d be pretty good at it by now!
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.86 out of 10)
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May 29

Some voices break glass, this guy seems to destroy planets.Click for slightly larger image

Alessandra Comments: Ow, ow, ow! I’m doing a dental self-exam, my back is thrown out, and I’m carrying this armful of light-sabre blades!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.38 out of 10)
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Apr 12

Radical dude! A cat's anus!Click for full image

Durbin Comments: This is actually a pretty decent book. It’s the story of a golden sorceress dragon and a male cellist who battle an evil dragon in the Sierra Nevada mountains. There are no skateboards, blonde girls, rainbow dragons, Valley girl fashions, or palm trees. There is, however, a passing mention of cats.
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.34 out of 10)
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Apr 11

Look out it's the dark lord... of the dance!Click for full image

Joachim Comments: “Devil dude,” said the blonde-headed potbellied forest spirit,”I’m not into your steroid enhanced red muscles with sheathing belly skin around the bottom look.”
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.91 out of 10)
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Mar 19

I pick this women! Her body is 3/4 legs!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: We need to convey a Utopian future, so nothing represents that better than a pastel circuit-board Lego city with buildings encased in test tubes. Add a happy gorilla-headed torso man carrying a life-like unitard-wearing sex doll. Ooh, and lasers! And… and shoulder pads!
Published 1982
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Feb 03

I don't think more alcohol is going to help us read this book dragon.Click for full image

Frank Comments: Spotted in the Russian-language section at our Friends of the Library sale. The only English-language word was “fantasy” on the spine. I’m illiterate in Russian.
Published 1997 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.24 out of 10)
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Sep 15

For anyone who hasn't seen 80's Top of the Pops, this sums it up perfectly!Click for full image

Scott B’s Art Direction: Take a woman with highly improbable hair, with a snake wrapped around her shoulders. Sexy, eh? But we need to make it all technological-like, so the snake’s actually made of fiber-optic wires or something. And throw a computer keyboard behind her, to make sure people get it. Technology! Also put a giant floating head in the background — you know I require that on all my covers!
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.48 out of 10)
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