Good Show Sir

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Rachel J Comments: No, my tagline is not stolen, and yes, my hair does have a life of its own. Now excuse me while I attack forty lens flares, a doorway, a glowing mist and a block of high-rise flats with my trusty katana.
Published 2011

(Average: 5.20 out of 10)

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ash966 Comments: Why, hello there, giant-brain-eyeball-octopus-bat-guy! And what’s behind your head? It’s not the moon, because it doesn’t go all the way around. An enormous cantaloupe, perhaps?
Published 1976

(Average: 8.51 out of 10)

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Joachim’s Art Direction: For our story about ALIEN talking space bears let’s mix it with some Earth myth — you know, Goldilocks and the Three Bears– and since it’s for boys, a SWORD and a HUGE glass of beer (bear beer?)…
Published 1983

(Average: 8.41 out of 10)

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Jon Comments: I know those Moorcock/Mayflower covers are like shooting fish in a barrel, but I needed something to go with my chips. I actually got the man himself to sign my copy recently and I told him I felt the film version was underrated. He agreed with me, with the minor change of “under” to “over”. Seemed a nice bloke, though.
Published 1973

(Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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Adam S Comments: Apparently “The Face” referenced in the title is my 75-year-old grandfather. As a side note, I don’t know many people that can rock a chastity belt like the dude about to bleed out all over the ground.
Published 1979

(Average: 7.20 out of 10)

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E’s Art Direction: I want it to look like West Side Story in space, only make most of the Jets werewolf people with absurdly large guns.
Published 1992

Many thanks to E!

(Average: 6.77 out of 10)

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Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line. The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

(Average: 6.26 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: This is a humorous novel about an interstellar diplomat. He’s suave, he’s debonair, and everything in the book’s played for laughs. So we want a horrific tentacle-headed, four-eyed, jelly-legged alien leaping at him with a spear. And we can’t afford the tux rental, so just use whatever your model’s wearing when he comes over from his rehearsal of A CHORUS LINE. But add some muscles! Retief is a two-fisted guy, no doubt with mighty thews! We don’t know what “thews” are, actually, but we’ll know ’em when we see ’em and by God he better have ’em! THEWS!
Published 1983

So it’s comedy. But it’s not a joke on the genre. That’s ok right?
Awesome! Thanks the Don!

(Average: 6.70 out of 10)

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Trench coats are really in, so I want a big leather one in there on a guy who looks like he’s right out of Top Gun. Have him walking along with his dog, his shirt tucked neatly into his jeans, carrying a magic sword and the typical explosions in the background. Who’s he kissing? Uh..I guess the dog.

(Average: 5.89 out of 10)

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So with a title like this, one has to be careful. I was thinking of a sweeping landscape and a storm brewing on the horizon. Silhouetted over the coming clouds and setting sun would be some hands in chains and…… Sorry? You just want busty sword welding chicks and a chained male. Ha! Who would approve that?

(Slightly breaks our rules as this is probably comedy – but it is another bank holiday weekend for UK readers! Have fun!)

(Average: 6.45 out of 10)

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