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Jul 10

The Great Fetish

17 Comments »

Wear some decent trousers. T. rex is feeling uncomfortable.Click for larger image

'Ein Roman'Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Great Fetish Party!

Tom Noir Comments: There’s porn for everything now.

Good Show Sir Comments: The Germans think your great fetish is gross.

Published 1980, 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.69 out of 10)
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Jun 13

The Last Recall

20 Comments »

Maybe if I cut this skirt slit higher he'll pay more attention to me?Click for larger image

Tom Noir Comments: “We must be on our guard, Daphne. This is a dangerous world.”

“Very well Charles, but tell me – do you smell chicken?”

Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.93 out of 10)
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Aug 09

Fire Time

22 Comments »

That's not a horn ... that's a whisky flaskClick for larger image

FluffyGhostKitten Art Direction: Gimme a ripped blinged-out Viking lion-centaur blowing a hunting horn. Throw in a couple random moons and a giant pulsar, and we’re good. No, I’m perfectly sober, someone else stole your shrooms.

Published 1988

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.64 out of 10)
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May 13

The Broken Sword

20 Comments »

How do you like to be poked with a uranium rod? eh! EH!?!Click for full image

Lauren F’s Art Direction: Since this story is about elves and changeling babies and magic, it definitely makes sense to represent it on the cover with an electrical plug attacking a lady holding a fluorescent light bulb.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.42 out of 10)
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Mar 05

Fox and Empire

34 Comments »

Well, we fired the baby at them. Do we have any more? No? Time to surrender.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:
“Our toddlers will blot out the sun!”
“Then we will fight in the shade!”
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.48 out of 10)
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Mar 03

Trullion – Alastor 2262

15 Comments »

A great day fishing ruined by idiot space ship drivers!Click for full image

John C Comments: Look, you wanted me to modernise the planet so I went to IKEA and got one of their “Flty” anti-gravity beds. It’s not my fault half the bits are missing and the instructions don’t make sense.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.14 out of 10)
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Feb 27

The Girls from Planet 5

21 Comments »

Texas was an all man state... till those darn girls all arrived!Click for full image

Simon W Comments: The blurb says “The women had taken over by 1998!” and, “Read the results in Richard Wilson’s unique, tongue-in-cheek, highly risible novel. It’s science fiction with a Woody Allen twist!”
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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Jan 30

Axe: A Tale of Carthelion

35 Comments »

Looks a bit more like a poleaxe to me!Click for full image

MisterBob’s Art Direction: How about a twist on the Excalibur motif, but an AXE instead of a sword. Clever, eh?
Published 1985 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.97 out of 10)
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Oct 23

Jewel of Tharn & Liberator of Jedd

39 Comments »

What a time to be attacked by feminist ape-men. Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: A tasteful way to cover up male nudity? I know what you mean… how about we cover up his nudity with a naked women on her knees, in front of his “blade!” What? How is that even remotely sexist!? Oh…. well… do it anyway.
Published 1969

Many thanks to Travis G!
See also: Looters of Tharn

Update: The Cover My Ass crew has a podcast reviewing “Jewel of Tharn”. Check it out:

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Sep 17

The Demon Breed

36 Comments »

Looks like I picked the wrong day to go swimming in the dark demon forest of deathland!Click for full image

Sarah B Comments: I’m actually quite fond of the James H. Schmitz. I’m mildly obsessed and hope to find more out in the wild to tame for my collection.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.77 out of 10)
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