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Jul 31

The Snow Queen

17 Comments »

Next... on Sex in the Snow Crystal Castle of Estabreem!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Sick of the cheesy, over-wrought covers being inflicted on her books by artists, Mercedes Lackey hires a photographer.
Published 2009

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.36 out of 10)
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Jul 08

Conan the Gladiator

28 Comments »

John! Stop looking at his muscular thighs and help us!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: What have you done to me, you monsters? I can’t lower my arms! I CAN’T LOWER MY ARMS!!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.32 out of 10)
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Jun 20

The Long Arm of Gil Hamilton

25 Comments »

You do... realise... how long it takes for me to trim my eyebrows like this?Click for full image

John C Comments: Yes, I think we have it in a size 12 in puce, let me just check out the back sir.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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Apr 10

Fortune of Fear

27 Comments »

Uh... lady, you wanna actually help me move this crap?!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Ting! It’s genius, you see. As many tings as you can get on there – I want the cover covered in ting! Oh and maybe a women in a cat suit… but don’t you dare leave her un-tinged!
Published 1987

Thanks to Ethan for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.93 out of 10)
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Mar 21

The Wazir and the Witch

31 Comments »

And so they said goodbye to Mr Crab... as he assended into the heavenly light.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I need to get into their mindset. What does the public want to see on their book cover… public…. cover…. public… pubic…. GOT IT! Giant floating glowing crab! Maybe a dragon too, but that’s just a background thought!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.82 out of 10)
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Feb 06

Out of Space and Time

31 Comments »

Oh no.. that isn't you... just wanted to see if you were into that type of thing.Click for full image

Ben Comments: I say kudos on the daemonic and the large yellow VOLUME 1.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)
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Jan 11

Stealing the Elf-King’s Roses

26 Comments »

Ok so you have the magical one... did you really need to get into the rose bush though?Click for full image

Frank Comments: I suppose I can understand how this got sorted in with the romance paperbacks, just from the color. But this is why I look through theromance paperbacks, so I can rescue the books that need it and put them over in the SF&F section.
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.45 out of 10)
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Oct 17

Virtual Mode

18 Comments »

For anyone wondering how CD's work... it works this way... every time you use a CD!Click for full image

Jaouad’s Art Direction: This author sells multi-millions, so I was thinking huge laserdisc with some vaguely operatic characters on it, flying across a landscape of red crystals with a ridiculously large moon in the background. Also a beach girl.
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.41 out of 10)
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Aug 29

Faith of the Fallen

30 Comments »

And there we go... her hand fits perfectly on his ass... perfectly...Click for full image

BookWench’s Art Direction: Okay, so this just looks like two nipple-less people standing there exposing their inner wrists. How do we make it more “Faith of the Fallen”-y? Uhm, how about chucking a craftsman in there, admiring his nipple-less handiwork?
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.41 out of 10)
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Jun 11

The Door Into Fire

25 Comments »

I like how the sword looks like a continuation of his tie! Today I am proud of myself.Click for full UN-LEWIS’ED image!

Frank Comments: I’ll bet there were Others ready to help grab those!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.95 out of 10)
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