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Feb 08

At least the robotic pope... can dance!Click for full image

GK Comments: Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?
Published 1981

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.56 out of 10)
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Jan 21

I'll just put this Z&A here... there we go! See, it spells wizard!Click for full image

Tally ho! Well good chap I’ll have the one with swords and those smashing old wizards praising a big wolf in the clouds!
Published 2000

Hold on, we'll save the princess in a bit. I have a chance to look... awesome!Click for full image

Good show old bean, I’ll go for the one with double swords, a buxom beauty and a mighty cape. Spiffing!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.50 out of 10)
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Jan 05

I can't fight a war! I've got shells for legs!Click for full image

Amy Comments: Letters invoking Art Nouveau is an interesting choice for a book where a modern man travels back to ancient Rome. Speaking of which, those are Roman sandals he is wearing. I just wanted to point that out because you might think he has his feet jammed into slimy cornucopias. Also, he is -traveling- -back- -in- -time-, people, not being served for dinner. Note the collaged photograph of an ancient city, how it is juxtaposed against the crudely watercolored landscapes and forms in the foreground, making us question, which is the -real- world?
Published 1969

Many thanks to Amy!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Nov 11

Of all the daemon summoning days to forget my satanic robes...Click for full image

Art Direction: Evil prophets go together with men wearing eyeliner like… Anyway that’s easy! Lets make any text on the cover like some sort of cryptic puzzle which will have to deciphered. What’s the book called? What’s the name the of author again? Ha! They’ll be stumped! The money will roll in!
Published Date Unknown

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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Nov 08

Ah the lizard peoples one fear.. their own hands.Click for full image

Don Comments: It’s so embarrassing when Mummy catches you playing dress-up in her things, even if you’re an alligator. Maybe PARTICULARLY if you’re an alligator.
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.63 out of 10)
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Nov 02

We're about to be drowned in milk!!!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: That’s a really nice painting you did for the Le Guin cover, but you know what would really sell it? Incorporating this photograph of my nephew and I at the Ren Faire. Don’t be silly, my mod seventies mullet-ponytail combo looks COMPLETELY medieval.
Published 1981 (maybe)

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.21 out of 10)
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Jul 15

I will seduce you with my powers of... interpretative dance!Click for full image

Brian’s Art Direction: What makes vampires scary? Exactly: it’s their lack of proportion. It’s their slightly big heads and taste for late-80s haircuts. Imagine a vampiress Bonnie Tyler. Get to it.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Brian!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Jul 02

We were just going to kill you mortals, but that does look like good cake...Click for full image

Art Direction: Hilarious escapade? Well then, no one is going to care what we put on there. In fact lets just put everything we can! Including Centaurs, which I hear are the next big thing. And we’ll have giant people with planets for faces! We’ll stop there but wait till you see what I have in mind for the font!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.87 out of 10)
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Jul 01

Lets not kill him, lets see if he digs my Deep Purple riffs first.Click for full image

Don Comments: OK, we’ve seen tons of perms and oodles of mullets on these covers – but I do believe this is the first permed mullet. (Pullet?) Assuming that’s the eponymous Bard whose Tale this is, he’s apparently not the brightest light in the harbor, since he a) agreed to accompany his hairdresser on a thieving expedition from an albino lizard-man (do such things EVER end well?) and b) misunderstood her when she said she wanted him along to carry the loot.
Published 1993

Many thanks to the Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
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