Good Show Sir

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Max Comments: I read the paperback version of this back in the day and it had a nice cover which represented the content of the book quite well. This original hardback, on the other hand, has none of those things. It’s a barbarian and perhaps an elf-woman on thrones, in hell, staring into a satanic-goat-festooned portal to THE COSMOS. The back’s got some crystal pyramids on it.
Published 1988

(Average: 6.22 out of 10)

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GK Comments: As we all know, cats love eggs and shellfish.
Published 1989

(Average: 6.58 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Scotty, we need more clip-art!”

“She can’t take much more captain! We push her any harder and we risk a font overload!”

“Dammit, just do it man!”
Published 1999

(Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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Colette’s Art Direction: I want an attractive couple on another planet who wear ribbons instead of actual clothing. But I guess we need something that will make it seem horrible AND sexy, so can you add a long trail of golden ectoplasm to the woman’s lower body? It should imply “you have radiant womb” and not “you should immediately see a doctor about that.”
Published 1973

(Average: 7.39 out of 10)

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Durbin Comments: This is actually a pretty decent book. It’s the story of a golden sorceress dragon and a male cellist who battle an evil dragon in the Sierra Nevada mountains. There are no skateboards, blonde girls, rainbow dragons, Valley girl fashions, or palm trees. There is, however, a passing mention of cats.
Published 1990

(Average: 8.34 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: “Devil dude,” said the blonde-headed potbellied forest spirit,”I’m not into your steroid enhanced red muscles with sheathing belly skin around the bottom look.”
Published 1995

(Average: 7.91 out of 10)

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Here we are again! It’s been a while for the old honourable mentions but it’s come to that time of year when a can of irn-bru and chocolate is considered an acceptable breakfast!

So if you are having a weekend off I hope you enjoy it and if not… well enjoy these covers that don’t quite make our high standards but we think deserve a special mention.

Have fun!

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Good Show Sir Comments: I love Mark Hamill’s pose on this one. It’s got that, “Why are you drawing me?” Look.

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Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Well I like these three drawings you’ve done. I know! Lets just put them all together on the cover.

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Matthew’s Art Direction: I want the scariest-looking monster that you can think of on the front!

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Stripey Baz Comments: I’m no purveyor of romance novels or indeed Norwegian literature, but I’m pretty sure that it’s not a good thing to have a mutton-chopped blaggard slap a fair maiden across her face. Given the angle that he’s standing at, his body must have twisted like one of those plastic toy action figures…

(Average: 8.09 out of 10)

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Patrick Comments: They might well look worried.
Published 1993

(Average: 7.69 out of 10)

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Alessandra’s Art Direction: Like early Dungeons and Dragons manual covers, but cruder, with an astronaut threatening Godzilla with a giant pencil tied to a notepad on his back. Oh, and a chick on an altar wearing a skintight rosy pink bodysuit, because this is spiritual writing, darnit!
Published 1996

(Average: 8.54 out of 10)

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Tom Noir Comments: Naked cybernetic armed cat woman in an improbable pose bursting through a cover of shiny 3D fonts? This is what happens when cover designers play Bingo. This cover is SO shiny that the camera couldn’t quite deal with it. Pretty much everything that looks black is actually highly-reflective chrome.
Published 1998

(Average: 8.39 out of 10)

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