Jun 03

Those aren't real Texans... that car isn't nearly big enough.Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: Sounds like a fair swap.
Published 1958

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.39 out of 10)

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29 Responses to “A Planet for Texans”

  1. Noel Says:

    Holy cow Batman, we’d better steer clear of this!

  2. anon Says:

    Missile, a bomb (looks like one anyway), a floaty round thing, giant longhorns, and is that a fighter jet..?
    Perfect match. Hope they have oil there.

  3. anon Says:

    Hey… What’s the other novel?
    And do they really have to advertise that they’re selling complete novels?

  4. fred Says:

    ‘Silk is welcomed to New Texas with a giant barbecue, where he sees a trial and learns that assassination of politicians is a legitimate part of the New Texan political process as long as the assassin can show that his victim “needed killin’”.’

    Ummm…..will keep my thoughts to myself.
    And I also can’t get the theme to ‘Rawhide’ out of my head.

    @anon Andre Norton ‘Star Born’.

  5. fred Says:


  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    “This new world couldn’t be fenced in”

    Of course, the first thing Space Texans would do is try to build a wall to keep out the illegal aliens.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: The ‘He needed killin’ defense is a somewhat apocryphal tale of Texan law. Apocryphal, in that I cannot find a citation for a particular case where this phrase was uttered. Somewhat, in that character evidence is admissible in a court of law in Texas, as in the civilised world. 🙂

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Addendum: Gutierrez v. State, Thompson v. State.

  9. L.B. Says:

    @fred: Thanks a lot! Now I have that song running through my head.

  10. THX 1138 Says:

    That’s a lot of bull.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The two arcuate brush strokes, even though they overlap more than a bit, make it look to me as if the moon in the background had bounced off the lead steer’s horn. I can’t un-see it.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    @anon: I was saving the other half of the Ace Double for anther day, as it looks like the Ray Harryhausen/ Kirk Douglas epic we should have had. I can’t look at it without hearing the ‘Star Trek’ gladiator-fight music

    Maybe any future Ace Doubles ought to include both at once. It’s double the fun, like ‘Whizzer and Chips’..

  13. anon Says:

    @Tat Wood: Well, I don’t really care either way, but it’s so obvious that my mind will jump there.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Tonight’s New Texas News headlines: Planetary Governor Jenna Bush decreed that the correct spelling of ‘nuclear’ is ‘nucular’. Another shooting spree leaves five people dead in the Spacemall. And the New Texas Beef Council recommends liquid beef for toddlers… after this.”

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Complete Novel

    Publish Novel

    Mock Cover

  16. B. Durbin Says:

    The double novel I have is a Piper double—Lone Star Planet (retitled from A Planet For Texans) and Four Day Planet. Can’t tell you what the cover looks like, since it got stripped (and not destroyed.) I am not getting rid of it because I don’t have other copies of the novels in question…

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    @B.Durbin: it looks as if this is it, Michael Whelan’s 1979 cover for a reprint.

  18. anon Says:

    @Tat Wood: It starts to look a bit like a joke when you put “Four-Day Planet“, “Lone Star Planet“, “Little Fuzzy“, “Space Viking” and “H. Beam Piper” together.
    No offense to anyone.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Technically…isn’t Earth a lone star planet? Aren’t Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune as well?

  20. FearôfMušic Says:

    Look, I am currently (involuntarily ) in Texas. And trust me, if New Texas is anything like OldTexas, EVERYTHING would be fenced in. Also flat, dull, smelling of cattle poo and litter strewn. If you want a dystopian western, New Texas might be the place.

  21. TokuDeka Says:

    I know texan cattle is very healthy and strong. But this is ludicrous

  22. B_Munro Says:

    The giant cattle aren’t nearly as annoying as the fire ants (note anthill to right of picture)

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Alternate title:

  24. Ray P Says:

    Nothing but steers and queers.

  25. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RayP: And spheres.

  26. Ray P Says:

    And hopefully beers. Or would that be Nostrilia?

  27. Tat Wood Says:

    @Ray P.: No, that’s shears.

  28. Emster Says:

    Hmmmm…. this cover hasn’t been revisited in years.

    Is the story as corny as the cover appears?

    Good news: A planet for Texans has herds of giant, grass fed longhorn cattle.
    Bad news: They’re sentient, and you’ve just interrupted their volleyball game.

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: I’d probably read that alternative. And it’s almost as corny as you think. It’s very Of Its Time, though the writing per se is good.

    @ARY (way back): Liquid beef would be fine for toddlers, it’s basically what baby food is. Now liquid beef for newborns is another thing, and I bet the NTBC would suggest that too.

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