Sep 09

For the love of god man, suck in that gut... and cover your penis...Click for full image

Huge naked man flying through a vast landscape while an English businessman on a flying circle points out his mistakes with a cane. Have his manhood really impressive and big, you know like the type that make women faint… oh yeah, guess we can’t. Well, draw it anyway and cover it up with a star about that award he got. They’ll never know…

Thanks so much to Chris R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.94 out of 10)

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43 Responses to “To Your Scattered Bodies Go”

  1. SI Says:

    Oh I do love that the point at the bottom of the star seems to be just that little bit bigger than the rest! 😉

  2. JustinLeego Says:

    So I looked up the Riverworld Series of books that this is part of, and it got made into a 2003 movie, “Riverworld“! It actually stars the late Kevin Smith, not of Clerks fame, but the one who played Ares in Hercules and Xena before his untimely death. From the trailers and clips it does have a certain Hercules / Xena tone to it. Maybe they used the same sets?

    There’s another one out soon, this year or next, also called Riverworld, and is supposedly a four hour epic!

    If only there was a sister site, Good TV Show Sir, about Sci-Fi / Fantasy TV movie adaptions of epic, epic novels that can only fall short when they finally make it onto the screen… 😉

  3. little mi Says:

    You are right about the star…golly.

    Is it just me or do the perspectives not make any sense in this. The man on the circle’s cane appears to be pointing infront of the falling naked man dispite the fact the the circle man looks like he is some way behind the naked man…or the naked man is really big and much futher away then he looks and the circle man is infact terribly small…but even then it looks wrong…arrrghhh…my brain…

  4. little mi Says:

    RE: JustinLeego

    …could we do it for DVD covers and/or film posters maybe?

  5. SI Says:

    Ohhh interesting idea!

    But would our minds be able to handle the madness?

  6. little mi Says:

    i can see a lot of pound shop DVDs featuring…the fung fu ones are always genius though I guess they might not count as strictly fantasy or SF.

  7. CSA Says:

    Thats pretty disturbing cover. I woulldnt want to bump into him in a dark alley.

    I’d love to read the scene that describes that cover. what surreal set of circumstances allows that to happen? I’m intrigued

  8. SI Says:

    Why read… when we can watch!

  9. Roses Says:

    You’d have thought the Fagin look-a-like would be a little more impressed by huge flying naked man.

    Shame naked dude doesn’t like flying.

  10. JustinLeego Says:

    Look what else I found!

  11. CSA Says:

    Theres few things worse than a poor TV adaption of a series you love. All your friends who you wanted to read the books will now just watch the crappy TV adaptation of it and judge it thusly… I was disapointed by the Dresden Files series, have heard bad things about the Tv adaptation of Sword of Truth series (awful covers).

    On another note one of my favourite fantasy books from a few years back is being made into a series by HBO series which might be okay the only reason i think it could work is because a) there is little magic in the book and b) its HBO

    I dread the day they try to make The Wheel of Time into a TV series.

    Justin, the philip Jose game doesnt look TOO bad for a 1998 game, looks pretty complex.

  12. JustinLeego Says:

    True, true. Too bad for the Riverworld game that it came out the same year as Baldur’s Gate, Diablo, Fallout 2, Heroes of Might & Magic 2, Dungeon Keeper 2, and Starcraft… couple of years earlier though and it would’ve had more of a chance.

  13. CSA Says:

    Ah you’re making me nostalgic. The weeks i would waste playing through the story of Fallout and baldur’s gate. They dont make em like they used to

  14. SI Says:

    Weeks you would waste? Don’t you mean months?

    I know some men who meet up every week to LAN party starcraft on their laptops.

    I have yet to join them…seriously…. I never enjoyed it that much. 🙂

  15. Jim Ryan Says:

    Looks like this scattered body’s going its own way…

  16. Bookworm Bas Says:

    Great series and concept. World of Tiers is quite good too. I am submitting the 1980 Panther release if anyone wants to see it. It actually depicts a scene in the book so I’m not sure if it breaks the rules.
    I’m going to have to check out the riverworld game now. Thanks for the tip JustinLeego.

  17. Mark Says:

    There is a version without the Hugo splash – yeah, it ain’t just the head that’s bald…..

  18. Terry Says:

    God dang, they always put the sign where I don’t want it . . .

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    There’s no mistake in the cover design:
    The climax of the story features a floating naked giant whose genitals are filled with letters… then the resurrected P.T.Barnum pokes at the giant’s *ahem* “engorged” privates — and BANG! out comes a bunch of letters which just happen to form the mystical message

    “Winner of the Hugo Award for the year’s best SF novel”.

    It’s all very metafictional — especially since the book later DID win the Hugo.

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


    OK, OK, I’m going. I’m hurrying, in fact!

  21. Jaouad Says:

    Is it the foreshortening, or is it really a man with a pig’s hindquarters?

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    I’d suggest we have a tag for ‘strategically placed Hugo Award’ but I suppose it would link only to this book.

    Although maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing?!?

  23. Severian 67 Says:

    Isambard Kingdom Brunel’s newest bridge was not well received.

  24. Rev Says:

    I wonder how many people have been admitted to casualty with a strategically placed Hugo Award…

  25. Perry Armstrong Says:

    A prescient cover. As of 2015, the Hugo Awards are indeed entirely about dicks.

  26. anon Says:

    To Your Naked Body Goes Philip José Farmer?

  27. THX 1138 Says:

    The show with everything except Yul Brynner… that’s Yul leaving to watch in the auditorium now. Except that the auditorium is in the show too. As are all his belongings, including clothes. So where will he sit? And what will he breathe if all the oxygen is in the show too? Isn’t this an over-elaborate production, and a nightmare to organise? All for Yul? What’s he done to deserve this? What if he doesn’t like it and the show with everything would have been better with him in it? WHY?

  28. fred Says:

    I wonder what Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton would have to say about this cover, assuming that is Burton with the cane.
    No mention of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons so far. Disappointing.

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Ok big fella, you’re right in place. Now—put out that forest fire!”

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    BC’s comment brought to you by Anheuser-Busch, Inc.

  31. Bibliomancer Says:

    @BC – You’re the whiz!

  32. Tag Wizard Says:

    Artist update. Unknown artist no longer: has him as Patrick Woodroffe.


  33. Raoul Says:

    @TW – Unshuriken, but not unshrunken.

  34. Tat Wood Says:

    In his unembarrassed state, lacking even a shuriken, we can plainly see that he has forgotten that key element of bungee-jumping, the bungee.

    Not a mistake you make twice.

  35. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It was the twelfth of May, another sleepy, dusty Delta day
    I was out writin’ sci-fi, and my brother was balin’ hay
    And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat
    And mama hollered out the back door, y’all, remember to wipe your feet
    And then she said, I got some news this mornin’ from Choctaw Ridge
    Today, Billy Joe MacAllister took off all of his clothes, stuck a suicide note over his man-parts and jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge.

  36. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Ah, Patrick Woodroffe, a fave here at GSS.

    That shuriken was ridiculously over-sized, wasn’t it?

    I’m thinking Isambard Kingdom Brunel is normal-size, and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon is giant. But a huge bald naked man wouldn’t make it into the parade, so Brunel had to design bridges and ships (The balloon was considered for a Pride Parade, but rejected for lack of endowment).

    This was only the second-oddest appearance of Brunel in a televised entertainment; the first was, of course, the 2012 Olympics. (Which also rejected the balloon)

    @DSWBT: thanks for the earworm.

  37. Devotion Says:

    @dswbt .Did Billy jumped alone or he took someone with him?Any chance of survival.Anyways it’s better to die if you commit suicide

  38. Devotion Says:

    @dswbt Suicide notes are last means of communication

  39. devotion Says:

    @thx1138 Sorry is not enough, never wanted to put YB in trouble. Just thought about passing the message clearly. You’re right, it is an overelobrate production.and a nightmare to organize. Wasn’t aware others might recognize .I thought YB would love this.Why YB didn’t show his discomfort and embarrassment earlier.?.How can I put him in the show?

  40. Devotion Says:

    Thanks for making me aware of my flaws.Talk to me.., depression frustration anger loneliness embarrassment guilt Too long and too much to handle .What have I done to deserve this,can’t take it anymore.Thats why I prefer flying sollow in my own world away from everyone.Didn’t know God will send a well wishes even in this wilderness to help me

  41. Devotion Says:

    Last Ten fifteen years full of mysery An imaginary angel brought back to life..,fell in love with him. Fighting with myself to get out of this. I thought it’s imaginary and won’t disturb the angel but he found out.Feeling very guilty for disturbing him

  42. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This is what happens when he disrobes.

  43. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Regarding recent revelations, and looking at the shuriken-free version… I was forced to think… Tr*mp minus his famous hair-don’t?

    Although this guy’s got more muscles and less fat. And fingers of normal length. But both are full of hot air.

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