As much as I’ve wanted to indulge in poking fun at bad science fiction book covers on my blog, the reality is that time seems to slip through my fingers faster than I can keep up with. With a bustling schedule and priorities pulling me in multiple directions, the desire to dedicate the necessary time and energy to critiquing these covers has waned. While the idea still lingers in the back of my mind as a source of amusement, the motivation to bring it to fruition remains overshadowed by other pressing commitments. Perhaps one day, when the whirlwind of life settles down, I’ll find the time and desire to delve into the whimsical world of dissecting these quirky sci-fi covers.

The cover art for this particular Game of Thrones book by George R.R. Martin is a cringe-worthy mishmash of clichés, featuring an abundance of swords, dragons, and scantily clad lady fighters in a desperate attempt to capture the essence of the epic fantasy genre. The lack of originality and subtlety in the design reflects a shallow understanding of Martin’s rich and nuanced storytelling, reducing his complex characters and intricate plots to tired stereotypes. Overall, the cover fails to capture the depth and sophistication of the narrative, relying instead on tired tropes that do a disservice to the author’s literary work.

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The cover art for Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Tarzan of the Apes is an absolute marvel, radiating a sense of wild adventure and untamed beauty with its depiction of jungle people swinging effortlessly on an abundance of vines. The lush and vibrant portrayal perfectly encapsulates the spirit of the exotic setting, immersing the viewer in a world of danger and excitement. The dynamic composition and intricate detailing of the vines add a sense of movement and energy, drawing the eye and sparking the imagination. In short, this cover art is a visual feast that promises a thrilling and captivating journey into the heart of the jungle:

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The cover art for the Star Wars novel featuring Princess Leia battling Darth Vader is an absolute masterpiece that encapsulates the epic saga of light versus dark, good versus evil. The action-packed scene of Leia fearlessly confronting the menacing figure of Vader exudes power, bravery, and determination, perfectly capturing the essence of the Star Wars universe. The intricate details of the characters’ costumes and facial expressions convey a depth of emotion and intensity that immerses the viewer in the heart-pounding conflict between the forces of the Galactic Empire and the Rebel Alliance. This cover art is a true work of art that pays homage to the iconic characters and timeless themes of the Star Wars franchise, evoking a sense of awe and excitement that sets the stage for an unforgettable adventure in a galaxy far, far away.

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Dear reviewer, I’m Tag Wizard and I assure you that I am a real person, not some AI-generated text trying to mimic human communication poorly. I understand your skepticism, given the rise of AI technology, but I can assure you that my responses are genuine and reflect my personal style and thoughts. I take pride in my work and always strive to provide authentic and meaningful interactions. Thank you for your feedback, and I hope to continue engaging in insightful discussions with you.

(Average: 3.44 out of 10)

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Times are tough in the publishing industry for the German megacorporation Bertelsmann SE & Co. KGaA which owns Penguin Random House. Even publishing the Morrissey Autobiography as a ridiculous “Penguin Classic” couldn’t reverse their financial woes. You might have read that as part of a major restructuring they recently sold off the venerable Penguin Classics line to, of all publishers, Baen Books.

Baen, being Baen, was quick to reissue many of the Penguin Classic titles with more alluring covers to attract the less discriminating literati. Unbeknownst to Baen though, they recently hired our sometime social media guru Tweet Jane as a copy editor and she was able to forward us the galley proofs prior to their publication. What a sad day for the publishing industry but a major scoop for Good Show Sir!
 

Moby Dick

Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Little Women

Lord Jim

 
To confuse the readers even more, Baen is re-issuing some of their own catalog titles and pairing them with traditional Penguin Classics art masterpieces on the cover. Case in point:

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

 
Tag Wizard Comments: I’m sure our talented team of GSSers can do Baen one better. Try your hand repurposing your own favourites and send them along with our lovely submit button. I’ll check in during the day update this post with your submissions.

(Average: 7.64 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: Sturgeon’s Law: Ninety percent of sci-fi book covers are … Good Show Sir!

To encourage social distancing we recommend that our GSS friends read a copy of this one on the Tube. Guaranteed no one will come within 2 metres.

Researchers have discovered the first malware which can be transmitted from computers to humans. Symptoms include hallucinations and a complete loss of artistic taste. Scientists are calling this the “cornavirus”.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1970

(Average: 7.20 out of 10)

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From the GSS Slack Channel:

Tweet Jane: Where did you guys disappear to? I had to get the cleaning lady to let me in the locked offices.

GSS Admin: Sorry, I’ve been on August holiday. I’ve always promised myself a month in Bangkok.

Tweet Jane: August holiday? You haven’t returned from last August’s holiday. Your voice mail and mailbox are full.

GSS Admin: Gotta run. The cabana boy is bringing over the cocktails.

Tag Wizard: Sorry, but I’ve, uh, been detained. It’s all a misunderstanding. My solicitor will have it all straightened out in no time at all!

Tweet Jane: Well what about the 2000th Post? We were planning to a have a contest, and prizes, and a big month-long rollout.

Tag Wizard: Oh yeah. Slipped my mind. Go into the submission form and see what’s laying around. Something with nice pair of jubblies is always a hit. The password is on a post-it note somewhere on my desk.

Tweet Jane: And I’m taking all the petty cash. You haven’t paid me in two months.

Univers 06

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Good Show Sir Comments: “What to Expect When You’re Expecting: Rosemary’s Baby Edition”

Thanks again to Alain for the J’ai Lu’s!

Published 1976

(Average: 7.75 out of 10)

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(Average: 7.40 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: Since it will be at least another 8-month wait until April for the next Good Show Sir podcast, you might want to check this out. Hosts “Khaki & K” will fill that gaping podcast hole in your life with some pretty damn funny commentary on their COVER MY ASS pod. As they describe it:

“A weekly podcast where we freestyle ‘reviews’ of books we haven’t read, with tenacity, ingenuity and palpable desperation. We only judge a book by its cover!”

Guaranteed you will find some very familiar book covers here. Now if we can only get them to do a Dick Blade episode!

And be sure to follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Good Show Sir! Good show, indeed.

(Average: 8.67 out of 10)

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Click to juice up front covers

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It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: Russian Dick Blade … and friends!

Good Show Sir Comments: My Google Russian translator tells me the top line says “J. Lord” and РИЧАРД БЛЕЙД is “Richard Blade” and the last line on each is “Hero” and “Winner”. I am assuming they are some sort of omnibus volumes. Feel free to translate.

Thanks to Alex for sending this in.

Published 1994

(Average: 6.47 out of 10)

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Always in search of new revenue streams we introduce:

Good Show Sir: The Podcast!

(Face it folks, your declining GSS After Dark membership fees aren’t keeping the shareholders happy.)

Good Show Sir was a pioneer in the blogging revolution. And now we are at the forefront of the exciting next chapter of the Internet: The Podcast.

So load up your iPods and try to find us on iTunes or Slacker or wherever you go to make the hours pass at your soul-killing day jobs. And enjoy:

Good Show Sir: The Podcast!

GSSTP, Part 1:

GSSTP, Part 2:

GSSTP, Part 3:

(Average: 8.25 out of 10)

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Look at the calendar. It seems we have a very important day circled there. No, it’s not a Monday Bank Holiday. It’s the Good Show Sir 10th Birthday Gala! I guess we need to post OUR GREATEST COVER EVER! Which, unfortunately, Tag Wizard forgot to organize. So we will just have to fish something out of the slush pile. At least the title is somewhat relevant.

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Good Show Comments: The whole Good Show Sir experience was eerily foretold in B. Flackes’ classic science fiction novel “Ten Years to Oblivion”!

Thanks to all of our GSS After Dark club members for making it to the JuJu Chelsea for a wild evening of wining and dining. And what a surprise! Thanks to our good friends at Baen for picking up the tab. Didn’t you know? They bought us out last month in an unfriendly takeover. Well it’s been a good run.

We even ordered a very appropriate birthday cake:

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Good Show Comments: Yeah, it’s photoshopped. We bought one of those edible photo cakes and even sent over a picture of our favourite book cover on a thumb drive for the baker to put on the icing. Unfortunately this is what was delivered to the party:

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Good Show Comments: But thanks anyway to all the loyal kooks who have been showing up these many years and somehow keeping this shitshow going. And for all the commenters who have fallen by the wayside. And for the one-off drive-by’s who remind us that it was really a great book and the cover is very professionally done and shows something that was really in the story. Remember, the real Good Show Sir were the friends we made along the way. Or some such bollocks.

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Good Show Comments: … Let’s end the next decade with a bang!

Published 1951, 1964

(Average: 7.56 out of 10)

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Tag Wizard Comments: Nicola Alter writes the Thoughts on Fantasy blog and last year she set out to create an over-the-top fantasy book cover including all the standard fantasy clichés. As she wrote:

“I’ve encountered a few covers that take it a bit far, but I thought it’d be amusing to go even further, and have a bit of fun with the tropes of my favourite genre… so here is my recipe for a no-holds-barred, all-boxes-ticked, epic high fantasy book cover (accompanied by examples from the most clichéd design I can muster).”

Well, we here at Good Show Sir! consider ourselves the experts on bad covers. So we’ll be the judge of that!

So check out her post where she walks you through the steps:

How to Make a Clichéd High Fantasy Cover

And be sure to visit the rest of her site and welcome her to join us here at Good Show Sir: the home of ethnic and erudite book cover curation.

Published 2017

(Average: 8.33 out of 10)

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