Sep 14

Is that some sort of floating lemon? Man... should have brought my glasses!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Joey liked to imagine the mall girls with Nothing on.
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.52 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Mall Purchase Night”

  1. anon Says:

    There’s an actual night for purchasing malls?
    I had no idea there was so much demand!

    Last Calm Prune High

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Puns are truly the Baen of the internet’s life.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Once upon a time, you had to hunt the space witch. Now, you can hop to the shop and buy your choice of ’em.

  4. Perry Armstrong Says:

    BAEN Enterprises; proudly providing security for Whitney Houston hologram concerts.

  5. fred Says:

    Looks like a ‘homage’ to Mannequin but the rent-a-cop looks nothing like G. W. Bailey.

  6. Tat Wood Says:

    The gurning guard looks like a young Lionel Stander. Maybe this is what Max was going when Jonathan and Jennifer Hart recruited him.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    That? That’s gas.

  8. Anna T. Says:

    What gets me here isn’t the art, although it’s not particularly stellar.

    It’s the frigging TITLE. Did the author come up with that himself, or was it inflicted upon him?

    I’m not sure I want to know.

  9. Perry Armstrong Says:

    What’s a cMall?

  10. THX 1138 Says:

    @Anna T: And how do you get from Walpurgis Night to… whatever this is?

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @THX: the more interesting question is, how did they get from ‘The Fifteenth Wednesday After Pentecost’ to ‘Wizard’s Bane’?

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I think her arms disconnect just below the biceps, but be that as it may, why is she signaling for a timeout?

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:


  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    So… “Mall Purchase Night” is supposed to be a pun on “Walpurgis Night”? (Thanks, THX 1138).

    Such a masterstroke of wit calls for a Slow Clap. [raises hands]
    *Clap*… *clap*… *clap*.

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘A friend of Cook’s says he also considered the title, A Mall and the Night Visitors.’

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Somehow this cover does not make me trust the judgment and perception of armed security guards.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    Lucky this wasn’t a series: if Robert Lynn Asprin’s discovery that ‘Myth’ sounds a bit like ‘Mis-‘ is any precedent the second-hand shops of the English-speaking world would have been swamped with books where the similarity between ‘…the mall’ and ‘…them all’ coshed us with duff pun titles for a decade.

    We’re also fortunate that this was seven years too early for ‘Darth Mall’.

  18. anon Says:

    @THX 1138, A.R.Yngve: That pun deserves a one-handed clap under one’s nose.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Show of hands please–who would prefer this cover with their poses and positions reversed? 🙂

  20. Ray P Says:

    Car 54 where are you? Crossing over with I Dream of Jeannie.

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