Apr 18

NOPE!Click for full image

JaunPaul Comments: Summon the keeper, my litter box needs cleaning.
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.10 out of 10)

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25 Responses to “Summon the Keeper”

  1. Tat Wood Says:

    “…a B&B where Hell was one of the guests.” The long-awaited Jean-Paul Sartre episode of ‘Fawlty Towers’.

  2. Ray P Says:

    It looks very nineteen-seventies.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I thought that the cat was the new space sheep, for a moment.

  4. Mark E Says:

    “… Where He’ll was one of the guests” – can a place be a guest?

    Either way – I wouldn’t fancy their trip advisor reviews. Cat hair everywhere.

  5. fred Says:

    How has this house survived w/o a lightning rod?

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    As someone wiser than I once said, ‘Hell is getting cat fur out of other people’s lycra outfits.’

  7. THX 1138 Says:

    Of course they mean Richard Hell, performing his famous song The Blank Stare Generation, as demonstrated by puss.

  8. JaunPaul Says:

    I’m thinking the cover was deemed too scary, so they added the cat last minute to lighten things up a bit.

  9. Ikari Gendo Says:

    It’s a bit of a fixer-upper with an almost-mansard roof on the tower and an oculus above the other circular casement (which doesn’t open) and a corner arch designed by M.C. Escher.

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    Hellcats of the B&B

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    And it’s a full 180 to Steve Davis, retiring from the world of snooker at the age of 58 to pursue his dreams of being a techno DJ. We should all be so lucky!

  12. Anna T. Says:

    Hell isn’t one of the guests, it’s the building itself. It has boarded-up windows and everything! They clearly set up shop in the local haunted house, and that’s why Hell knows it’s welcome.

    This can only end . . . badly.

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    What kind of guest-house has a boarded-up window facing the approach road?

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Can I have the suite?”
    “No, it’s occupied by my prize cat Fluffy.”
    “All right… so can I have the room with the view?”
    “No, it’s occupied by my two other cats.”
    “Is there any room without cats?”
    “He he he…”
    “This isn’t a B&B! It’s HELLLL!!! AARRRGGHH!!”

  15. HappyBookworm Says:

    What, no comments yet about the giant genie eyes in the air? I guess around GSS such things are just too common for remark.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Giant Eyeballs In The Sky is such a tired, shopworn trope that it’s hardly worth a yawn.

    The best comment to that cliché might be Philip K. Dick’s novel EYE IN THE SKY, where — surprise! — a giant eye appears in the sky.

  17. FeârofMusīc Says:

    Every bed and breakfast is a bit of hell on its own, however.. “They were supposed to be saving the world, not running a B&B..”
    And? The guest is hell, not the BB&B so exactly what is compelling them to run a B&B? And, obviously, running it poorly.

    “Brad,perhaps we could get a few proper guests if we,say, fixed those windows rather than boarding them up?”

    “But Camilla, then we might get advanced bookings and we’ll never get out of here to save the world! ”

    “Well then Brad, why don’t we just leave and get on with it?”

    “Our guests Camilla? Are you suggesting we just up and..”

    “Guest, Brad. We’ve only the one. ”

    “Oh are we playing this little game again? You know, such attitudes are why the hospitality industry is declining at a..”

    “Brad have we actually been paid? In actual money and not promises of infernal wealth and power? Have you been in the upstairs hall? It reeks of sulfur and brimstone. I shudder to think what the bedding will smell like.”

    “Camilla do you understand what a guest is? What is the point of getting into this business at all if you’re going to nitpick every little thing a guest may do?”

    “We’re not supposed to BE in this business, we’re supporting to be saving the world. ”

    “Oh and that reminds me Camilla. Our guest is STILL waiting for that infant he requested. Something about dark sacrificial rites. Why haven’t you provided it? Hmm? Hmm? What is our motto here?”

    “The world is doomed.”

    “No,that’s not it.”

  18. Ray P Says:

    Perhaps it is the B&B equivalent to Rent-a-wreck.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Hell may not have been one of the guests but Fredric Brown was…

  20. RachelJ Says:

    You all jest, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the blurb is an extremely clever wordplay on one of the characters being in fact named “Mr Hell”. I wouldn’t be all that much more surprised if, in a completely unexpected twist, Mr Hell turns out to be literally the devil. Just a wild guess.

  21. RachelJ Says:

    By the way, is it “Summon the Keeper” by Tanya Huff, or “The Keeper” by Tanya Huff Summon?

  22. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I think it’s “Tanya Huff Summon, The Keeper” and then the cat ate the title or something.

  23. Tom Noir Says:


    Oh hai Mr Fluffkins, you want scritches under your chin??

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “Tanya Huff, summon the keeper of this B&B and ask if they have a lint roller. Mr. Fluffikins slept on my shirt.”

  25. fred Says:

    The next time someone yells ‘Unleash the Kraken!’ I’ll politely respond with ‘Summon the Keepurr!’.

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