Sep 12

Lord Owen went to the gates of hell and all I got was this lousy souvenirClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: My son made this candle for me at summer camp.

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.59 out of 10)

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30 Responses to “The Sorcerer’s Skull”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Close the bloody door behind you! D’you think we’re paying to heat the whole neighbourhood?

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    He’s really regretting that comment about eating his hat now.

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Oh, and I thought the artist was Steele Sausage. But that’s something completely different.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    And what’s behind him would make a lovely ornamental wreath for the holidays.

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Lower right corner…world’s worst ruff, or a head walking around on tentacles? Only Steele Sausage knows for sure!

  6. Tat Wood Says:

    Which one’s Lembit?

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    BEHIND YOU! tag applies to almost every figure on the cover. Trippy.

  8. fred Says:

    If the sorcerer’s mother is still alive things are going to get rather difficult for Lord Owen.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m thinking that the skull cracked all of his teeth eating steele sausages, and they were replaced with needles instead of proper dentures. O_o

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Once you cross the threshold to Hell, it’s only seven footprints to Satan, so he doesn’t have so far to go.

  11. Anna T. Says:

    Pay absolutely no heed to the petrified fighters behind him. He’s just grumpy about being woken in the middle of the day, alright?

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Cover design looks like Hell’s Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The Sorcerer’s Skull
    The Magician’s Mandible
    The Alchemist’s Ankle
    The Conjuror’s Clavicle
    The Enchanter’s Earlobe
    The Necromancer’s Nostril
    The Occultist’s Ovary
    The Seer’s Spleen
    The Shaman’s Sternum
    The Soothsayer’s Shoulderblade
    The Warlock’s Wrist
    The Augurer’s Adenoid

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: The Wizard’s Nuts!

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DSWBT—yes! Although if we were staying with the alliterative pattern it might be
    “The Wizard’s Willy.”

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Why are fantasy heroes always such overachievers? He didn’t have to go all the way to the Gates of Hell… just smash the bloody thing with a mallet or something!

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Look what I made in shop class!”

  18. HappyBookworm Says:

    I didn’t know talismans were born…Returning it to its birthplace would be hard in that case. I bet the guy in front is thinking along those lines.Either that or he’s thinking, “Really? THIS is the talisman of Lord Owen? A skull with a partly melted candle in it? I’ve seen scarier decorations on my neighbor’s porch at Halloween.”

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Lord Owen finally gets around to crossing the gates of hell to reluctantly return the sorcerer’s talisman to its place of birth, and suffers from apathy the whole way.


  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    And so, once he arrives, he indulges in his usual response to the blahs—he starts binge eating. And pretty soon


    But he keeps eating.

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: He did nothing of the kind! You’re believing all of his tall tales.


  22. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DSWBT—I think you are correct. I have more than once believed a lying sorcerer. Indeed, if not careful I can easily become


  23. Tag Wizard Says:

    He was the coxswain on the wizard’s rowing team:


  24. Tat Wood Says:

    Magician over-population risks using up the supply of magic:


  25. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Lord Owen crosses the gate of hell to return the sorcerer’s glaive to its place of birth in a campy 80s fantasy film:


  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Hey, get your hands off of that vintage copy of Stand Up. That’s not yours, that’s


  27. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Lord Owen makes a deal with Satan to rule a British city, making it…

  28. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Lord Owen reads too much A.E. Van Vogt, and in a fit of Non-Aristotelean madness declares that

  29. fred Says:

    Lord Owen has to return Kevin Sorbo to Mound, Minn., coming soon on the SyFy Channel in what they are touting as ‘the best buddy road movie since Midnight Run’.


  30. JJYoyo Says:

    Lord Owen crosses the hellish waters of Loch Linnhe to return to the land of his favorite single malt:


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