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Nov 08

The focus group isn't sure they like the new superheroClick for full image

Tag Wizard Comments: Arrgghh! This Spanx® leotard is cutting off my circulation!
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.83 out of 10)
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27 Responses to “Planet of The Warlord”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    This is one of those Charles Atlas ads, isn’t it?

  2. L.B. Says:

    “No, I am your gym trainer!”
    “Noooooooooooooo! Noooooooo!”

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    These covers get cilia and cilia.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    Planet of the Warlord is actually a role-playing male strip club featuring tenticle porn. Popular for bachelorette parties.

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    We be burning
    not concerning
    with the kerning…

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The medical students were stunned at the results of Dr. Warlord’s latest surgical experimentation.

  7. Francis Boyle Says:

    Aiming for a retro vibe. Generating a stupid vibe.

  8. SI Says:

    They need you Gordon… in the test chamber.

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    Do the dudes behind the window have their pigtails tied together?

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    On the planet of the warlord, offering a high-five is a major faux pas.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    Look at track-suit bloke’s left leg. Cover up the rest of the picture and consider what position someone stood like that would normally adopt. Then look at the position the rest of his body’s in. Ouch.

  12. Ray P Says:

    The new Saudi state executioner starts with Kevin Bacon. “Who’s footloose now?”

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I’m an avid font collector, and I’ve never seen this title font before: Comic Sans Brains.

  14. Anna T. Says:

    @Tat Wood: Are you advocating for an “anatomical issues” tag?

    So, is the golden guy testing out his new muscle suit, or what? Did he build it like that to compensate for secretly being puny? Why are the people with tubes coming out of their heads watching? Is this some sort of combat-by-champion thing? Where do the tentacles come from?

    And most importantly of all, why does our hero have an awful ’70s haircut?

  15. Ray P Says:

    The copper on the cover of Flow my tears, the policeman said got buff and found a new job.

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Douglas War’s Lord of the Hillplanet

  17. fred Says:

    In no way was this scene influenced by Vader v Luke.

  18. Tom Noir Says:

    I like how they capitalized ‘the’ but not ‘of’.

    Covers like this are all about consistency.

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tom Noir—I guess they wanted to be sure we understood that this was not any old run of the mill GI Joe-jointed Warlord, but, dammit, The Warlord.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    He became the President of the United States — and then, the world!
    PLANET OF THE WARLORD

    (Laughing through my tears? Oh, if only!)

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @A.R. Yngve—”Oh, if only!” Do you mean if only we could all warp through to a different dimension and live an alternate history? Please let me know if you find the entrance ramp.

  22. FearofMusic Says:

    So many questions! Is golden man wearing pants? Would he explode like Robyn Hitchcock’s eponymous balloon man if pricked with a pin? Are those tentacle trees or the Dark Young of Shub Niggurath cheering on the combatants? And why oh why, if you poses a firearm, would you allow overly muscular man to approach to within melee distance?

  23. HappyBookworm Says:

    @DSWBT #3 – Maybe those lab-grown flagellum have agar management issues.

    Aside: I hope you’re a guy because I think I have a crush on you.

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @HBw: Nice one! And, I’m flattered but hitched. 😉

  25. Jon Lopez Says:

    Heh. I remember this one from the school library. Actually based on the contents of the book

  26. HappyBookworm Says:

    @DSWBT – Just thought I’d say. 🙂

  27. Jaouad Says:

    Ah, an early COLT Studios title.

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