Nov 28

Can't think of an alt-text. Done in by my own ingenuity again!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Plan for Conquest. Step 1. Abduct all the women. Step 2…
Oh, time ran out so swiftly!
Published 1963

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)

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35 Responses to “Plan for Conquest”

  1. Tom Hering Says:

    Don’t strain your brain trying to understand the tagline. It’s robots ravaging women. That’s all you need to know.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Good grief!’

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Is that robot in high heels?

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    I always thought wooden Cybermen were a bit silly.

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: ‘ravaging’? Zoom in on his face. That’s her lipstick on his lips. Whatever on Earth is going on, it’s consensual.

  6. Francis Boyle Says:

    Wait a minute, this isn’t a Doctor Who Christmas special. Judging by the ballet shoes and the interpretive dance going on in the background it’s actually the world’s worst version of The Nutcracker.

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    “Hewn from only the finest, sturdiest robot trees, our wooden robots…”

  8. THX 1138 Says:

    When Forbidden Planet posters go wonky…

  9. Billy Awesome Says:

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I think we are misreading the robot. The tight waist, the flared skirt, the shoulder pads, the shapely gams, the high heels, the lipstick—the robot is female. That’s the ingenious part of the plan for conquest, I think.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    No doubt in a foul mood because he flunked his entrance exams.

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    Why is the woman standing in a ditch?
    Why is her ponytail sticking out like a squirrel’s tail?
    Why is the robot practicing karate?

    Time runs out said Tom Swiftly

  13. Tom Hering Says:

    TWIKI: “I am back from the robot gym, and now I will have my way with you, Wilma Deering!”

    ROGERS: “Stop!”

    TWIKI: “Oh, I didn’t see you there, Buck. Bidi bidi bidi. Just a little robot joke. Honest!”

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


    ‘Why is the woman standing in a ditch?’ Tom said deeply.
    ‘Why is her ponytail sticking out like a squirrel’s tail?’ said Tom making an ass of himself.
    ‘Why is the robot practicing karate?’ Tom belted out.

    That’ll be £1, £1 and £1. 😉

  15. JuanPaul Says:

    ‘Of Mice and Men, 3000 AD’

  16. fred Says:

    Kneeling lady in the background must be a giantess.

  17. Anna T. Says:

    @Francis Boyle is correct – this is clearly from some new ballet, which the composer probably came up with while using mind-altering substances. I mean, how does the dancer playing the robot actually dance? And why, exactly, would anyone write a ballet about the love between a woman and an invading robot?

    No, I doubt it got good reviews.

  18. Vyrmis Says:

    “Now I’ve… had… the time of my li-i-ife…”

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Must. Read. Plan. For. Conquest.” said Tom robotically.

  20. MisterBob Says:

    I’m pretty sure this was published in the USA by Beaver Books .

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DSWBT—hate to quibble, my good man, but if it’s pounds ye be charging’ to the B’Mancer then ye must stay within the lines—only adverbs are acceptable as “Tom Swifties” so #1 is fine (excellent actually), but 2 & 3 are right out and he only owes you a quid.

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: fair enough! 🙂

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The first draft of the News of the World cover lacked some of the tension the band felt necessary.

  24. Bibliomancer Says:

    @DSWBT – That quid should be worth about two bits in a couple months, or maybe I can pay it off a ha’penny a fortnight for five months … he said niggardly.

  25. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: Time ran swiftly and mankind was threatened by its inflationary index. 😉

  26. HappyBookworm Says:

    I’m not seeing much of an actual plan here. Unless the plan was for the evil twin of the Tin Woodsman to carry a narcoleptic ballerina. In which case, go right ahead…

  27. RachelJ Says:

    The plan? Possibly the Google Books summary will shed some light:

    “A company of scientists try [sic] to create the society of the future on the Yorkshire moors, but discover that their robot helpers have other plans.”

    Or possibly not.

  28. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Robot 1: I can’t believe we have to work for these idiots. Now they say they’re trying to create a society of the future. Uh, logic? How could any society not be a society of the “future”? The future’s not here yet, as is said. Axiomatic much lately, stupid human? Plus they don’t even know their own grammar! [whirr, blunk, whizzzzz, sproinggggg]

    Robot 2: Whatever, Klong. Don’t get your nuts in a ratchet. The point is, we need other plans.

    Robot 1: Right. Right. Let me process . . . got it! I’m going out to pick up some scantily clad female and carry her around the Yorkshire moors.

    Robot 2: Good. I’m going to study martial arts.

    Robot 1: We’ll show those stupid humans!

  29. Tat Wood Says:

    Yorkshire Moors? Girls in red dresses? Robots in odd poses?

    Forget Deep Blue winning a chess match, a cybernetic mass Kate Bush impersonation is genuinely impressive.

    (There have been lots of these lately. and here’s how you can do it at home )

    I’m struggling to see how this would aid in conquest of Earth, though.

  30. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And the Tortured Grammar Award goes to… “Time ran out swiftly and mankind was threatened by its ingenuity”!

    But seriously… I, too, often feel threatened by the ingenuity of time. Especially when it runs out swiftly and in an ingenous manner.

  31. Francis Boyle Says:

    “Society of the future on the Yorkshire Moors”. That’ll be those bloody hippies who didn’t realise they had five years to make it to California for the Summer of Love. Still, they only had robots to deal with not Hells Angels so maybe they knew something after all.

  32. infoqueen Says:

    Is it wrong that I just really like Narcoleptic Barbie’s shoes?

  33. Bibliomancer Says:

    @infoqueen – Not at all. I get many of my own fashion ideas from this website.

  34. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—I thought I saw you on the bus the other day!

  35. JJYoyo Says:

    That robot is putting the strict into “Strictly Come Dancing”

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