Mar 23

Ye Olde Mom JeansClick for full image

JuanPaul Comments:
“And ye will know them,
Danu’s Children
For they shall be
Until the last
The bearers of
Booty most mighty”

From the ancient scriptures of Mixalot

Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.62 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “The Last of Danu’s Children”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘…you don’t like my salsa?’

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    “You’re the last of my children because I’ll never marry you off to a young wizard or tree elf unless you start dressing like you belong on a fantasy book cover.”

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    Housewives LOVE the Jolly Green Giant.

  4. fred Says:

    Unembossed Booty doesn’t make for a ripping good cover.

  5. Yoss Says:

    Much better than the working title of “The Last of Darsehole’s Children.”

  6. THX 1138 Says:

    “Was that you who let rip?”

  7. Tracy Says:

    Everything is just so… out of scale and disturbing. The giant’s right hand is bigger than his left, and both are much bigger than his head and his axe is way bigger than should fit in either hand. The woman looks like she has been miniaturized and is levitating above some forest floor leafage. Her butt is larger than it should be and her hands are smaller. I truly don’t get this cover.

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    The hilt of his axe is decorated with a little axe. Isn’t that like decorating your Christmas tree with little Christmas trees? (Which would be awesome, by the way)

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Their poses only make a bit of sense if he’s whispering something and she’s leaning in to listen. But why on Earth would you need to whisper if you’re in the middle of the forest, AND how could you whisper if you’re a good three storeys high?

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    @fred yes, total fail on the embossing. This cover could been a real contender.

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    He’s pretty hard to differentiate from the surrounding landscape. This could lead to an embarrassing moment when she reaches out to steady herself on a nearby ‘tree stump’.

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: that produces ‘undergrowth’. 😉

  13. JuanPaul Says:

    “Manscaping” becomes quite literal now.

  14. Yoss Says:

    “Hey lady! What do you mean, if I trim the hedges, the trees will look taller?”

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tracy: I had to embiggen the picture even to see his other hand!

    @JuanPaul: Not only is it redundant, I really think weapons handles should not have pointy bits on them so you cut yourself if your hand slips.

    The woman’s entire position is odd — bent over, splayed out, her breasteses are too small and pointy to go with that backside, and she’s not wearing any socks with her cheap shoes. And while her jeans are mom-ish, they hang way too low for that. The artist seems to have drawn some, erm, rear cleavage.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Lady: “O forest giant, tell me… does my butt look big in these jeans?”
    Giant: “Oh no, mortal, there’s no way I’m falling for that one. I’ve been married! I refuse to answer.”
    Lady: [Sighs] “Men… they’re all the same!”

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Every man knows not to answer that question.
    Every woman knows not to ask it.

    (You ask your BFF, for whom you perform the return duty also.)

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    We are born of the butts, made men by the butts, undone by the butts…

  19. BootstrapperW Says:

    “Book ‘im Danu. Axe Murder One!”

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