Sep 07

An otter waste of timeClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Mr and Mrs Otter, and their dotter.

Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.74 out of 10)

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51 Responses to “The Hub: Dangerous Territory”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “Could you scrub my back while you’re there?”

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Are there any otter puns to make? Or do they keep getting otter and otter?

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:



  4. fred Says:

    I would have dropped ‘The Hub’ and gone with ‘The Otterman Empire’ and given them lightsabers.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Since otters don’t have opposable thumbs, it must be she who is holding the staff. Makes for a pretty funny image.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Sniff, sniff . . . ok who cut one?”

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    This book cover draws us one step closer to the BAENgularity… the moment a book is released with a cover that is entirely made up of eye-searing whooshing fonts.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tom Noir—Yes, I’ve been contemplating that title layout (I am clearly not being a productive worker this morning!). The contrast between its jarring intensity and the rather subdued imagery (as we all know, otters are known for their calming karma) is just another Baenificent aspect of this cover.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    “Invade at your own risk”…what are they gonna do, nibble my bum?

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JP: I observe she’s not wearing as much as is perhaps appropriate…maybe the risk is to your attire and/or modesty?

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Wait, is her eye shadow still intact after bathing???

  12. THX 1138 Says:

    @JP: I refer you to the sobering case of how Terry Nutkins lost his fingers.

  13. JuanPaul Says:

    @THX 😮

  14. Anna T. Says:

    Now that you mention it, she does possess some rather uncanny similarities to the otters. So either she’s an otter who was turned human – explaining the lack of clothing – or they’re humans who were turned otter.

    Questions, questions . . .

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Hell is otter people.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    At least the otters don’t have to look at her beaver…
    Ba-Da-Bum! Thank you, thank you.

  17. Bibliomancer Says:

    She has been ottercized by her own people.

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—When I was looking at her staff-wielding arm, I thought she’d been otterized. So I guess otterizing leads to ottercizing. Seems appropriate.

  19. JuanPaul Says:

    I hope they have the manners to look the otter way when she gets dressed.

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    This must be what they’re looking at

    That’s two otter-themed covers in three months .Fun, fun, fun on the Otter-barn, as Kraftwerk almost sang.

  21. Raoul Says:

    Swims with the otters
    Sleeps with the fishes

  22. Alice Says:

    Here, obviously, “Hub” is a portmanteau of “Hot Tub.”

  23. Raoul Says:

    Perhaps she is actually a shaved beaver.

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Alice: “Hold off on the blurb! Hold the blurb! Holurb! Houuub! Hub!”

  25. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Speaking of portmanteaus (or portmanteaux) . . .


    ‘Twas Baenig and the smoothy beaver
    gyred and gimballed in the wabe
    All mimsy was the editor
    And the moan came from the babe.

    “Beware the Goodshowock, my friends!
    The wit that bites the puns on snatch.
    Beware the Admin bird and shun
    The Wizard of Taggerbatch!”

    And as in uffish thought they stood
    The Goodshowock, with covers of Baen,
    Came whiffling through the cyberspace
    And burbled as it came!

    One, two! One, two! And through and through
    The vorpal wits went snicker-snack
    They left it dead (swbt), and with its head
    Harumphed on back.

    “And, has thou slain the Goodshowock?
    Come to my ottered arms, dear mates
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
    Tomorrow’s cover we await.”

    ‘Twas Baenig and the smoothy beaver
    gyred and gimballed in the wabe
    All mimsy was the editor
    And the moan came from the babe.

  26. Yoss Says:

    @ Alice.

    I like it.

    “Hot Tub: Dangerous Territory — Invade at Urine Risk…”

  27. Alice Says:

    @DSWBT, BC, Yoss – Good Show Sirs!

  28. Bibliomancer Says:

    I saw this on an episode of “The Otter Limits.”

  29. Tag Wizard Says:

    We are the otter people
    We are the otter people
    You’re the otter people too
    Found a way to get to you … ♪♫♬

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: Awesome! 😀

  31. Tom Noir Says:

    Charlize Theron in… Ottertomic Blonde.

  32. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And The Lady of the Lake

  33. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I thought the photo was terribly out of focus.

    Then I realized it was actually the art.

    Possibly by the time my eyeballs got down to the otter and dotter, the fonts had already damaged them.

    “Dangerous territory”? What are they gonna do, cute us to death?

    This is apparently a collection of 10-12 shorter works. One hopes they weren’t all about otters and damsels. Or too heavily “edited” by Flint.

    @DSWBT: that work is included in this one; no telling whether the critters are actually more meerkat or more otter. Or where her bikini went between 1971 and 2001. Or when she got the bleach job. Or how @Tag Wizard’s previous “pole weapons” and “spear” became “walking stick”.

    @BC: good poem, sir!

  34. A.R.Yngve Says:

    There has to be a contractual clause at Baen, stating that
    “The required minimum number of words in a blurb is 5 (five).”
    ‘Cos someone really phoned in that blurb…

  35. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: a remarkable observation, but can you turn it into a haiku?

  36. B. Chiclitz Says:


    word requirement,
    to grace the sci-fi cover
    at minimum, five

  37. Tat Wood Says:

    Next to the S in ‘Dangerous’ there’s a tiny missile flying off to the right. Have the otters got ICBMs and only use the spears to fool their opponents into thinking that they’re cure and defenceless?

  38. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat Wood—I think that tiny rocket is North Korea playing missile games to freak out the otters. “We are not in fear of your puny weapons. We have SHAD—Spear High Altitude Defense—and will annihilate you, furry vermin!”

  39. Tat Wood Says:

    @B.Chiclitz: if that’s so then the two otters and a girl not wearing much have swum from the US to Seoul. Possibly in under four minutes if the missile is still on an upward trajectory.

    That’s a story I might consider reading.

  40. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat Wood—I hear the Supreme Leader does that routinely, although for the sake of the mental health of aquatic life, I hope he wears more than she is wearing.

  41. Yoss Says:

    That right eye of hers is over sized and doesn’t quite track with the left one.

  42. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Yoss: Look, she was raised by otters with ICBMs, which implies nuclear material. It’s surprising she’s not even otter odder-looking.

  43. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It’s a slow week-end, so I’ll go for the low-hanging fruit: has no one else observed that Mr. Otter and Mrs. Otter and their dotter are in the wotter?

  44. RachelJ Says:

    This just seems so desperate and sad…

    “Invade at your own risk! This is dangerous territory, this is! We know how to swim! And we have otters!


    …hey guys, do you think we scared them off?”

  45. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RachelJotter: it is essential that one be able to defend one’s self from pointed sticks. And fresh fruit.

  46. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Rachel: Soooo dangerous! Pointy sticks* and aquatic mammals. And a sign that says “BEWARE OF OTTER”.

    The only danger is if while you’re going “aww, how cute!” they really do have an ICBM… but then they’d nuke someone far away. And you’d still be standing there laughing at otter and dotter.

    Unless dotter is in fact part of the Great Mermaid Conspiracy…

    *Not walking sticks.

  47. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Been reading the site for a while and at last feel brave enough to post a comment …
    I remember these stories from when they were first published in Analog in (I think) the late 60s.Ms Otter-dottir and the otters live on a colony panet that’s mostly shallow sea. Her name is Nile Etland and she has a PhD and does research stuff. The otters are her helpers. Human size and have proper hands etc. ISTR that one of them is called Sweeting. The planet has been landed on by an alien race with Bad Intentions. Dr Etland and the otters discourage them. In the course of that Sweeting proves to be adept at underwater demolition with high explosive.
    Not great literature but quite good fun.I have something of a soft spot for Schmitz (anyone who can invent the gorgeous alien psi assassin Pagadan in one of his other stories must have something).

  48. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Longtime_Lurker – Lurk no more! Welcome to the yakfest.

  49. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @L_L: One. Of. Us.!

    Thanks for the info about the plot. Seems the cover doesn’t even have the “that’s actually a scene in the book” excuse.

    So the previous non-Baen cover was not only less-gaudy, but more accurate.

    Quel surprise.

  50. Lars of Mars Says:

    Real-life sea otters are masters of demolition, fortunately they don’t know about high explosives.

  51. fred Says:

    ‘invade at your own risk’….is there a legal form you have to sign? Do they show you gruesome high school driver’s ed class type footage of previous invasion attempts to try and dissuade you from the attempt?

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