Jan 10

I think I need a band-aid.Click for larger image

George Comments: Couldn’t find his loincloth this morning. Had to use the bedsheet.

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “The Mists of Doom”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    I think we need a new “face thigh” tag.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    So, um… how is the sheet staying up in that position?

  3. fred Says:

    He’s not just any Faux-nan, he’s an Irish Faux-nan.

  4. Tom Noir Says:

    Got some white legs there, Cormac. Might want to hit the tanning salon before driving your enemies before you and listening to the lamentations of their women, etc.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    (“Don’t grab the blade, don’t grab the blade, don’t grab the blade) Ouch!”

  6. fred Says:

    Faux-nans are always fighting giant snakes. It appears this snake is part chameleon and is imitating a sheet to sneak up on its unsuspecting prey.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    In my experience, anyone with a name that ostentatiously Oirish is probably really called ‘Dave’ or ‘Len’. The only ‘Cormac’ I ever met had a Brummie accent and preferred to use his middle name, ‘Elliot’.

  8. THX 1138 Says:

    He taught Michael Hordern in the Up Pompeii movie all he knows.*

    *Obscure reference.

  9. THX 1138 Says:

    “Offutt” sounds a bit like a swear word, or something you say when you just stop yourself swearing, but the spellchecker recognises it. What as, I don’t know.

  10. Anna T. Says:

    He’s blocking his face with his sword so the police don’t recognize him in his new gig.

    The reasons for the awkwardly-draped bedsheet remain a mystery.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    @THX (9): ‘OfNut’ is the government body with oversight responsibilities for Madness tribute bands.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Calling him Robert E. Howard’s “other” hero kind of answers the question at the top of the cover, doesn’t it?

  13. Francis Boyle Says:

    Is Val Kilmer missing his batsuit?

  14. JuanPaul Says:

    There is no way in hell that dude is running around in the Irish climate “dressed” like that.

  15. Tor Mented Says:

    “Wait, there are tiny mystic runes engraved on this sword by elven magic. I can barely make out the words. They seem to say, ‘There once was a man from Nantucket …'”

  16. fred Says:

    Apparently in the Howard stories he’s a coast raiding pirate that eventually hooks up with Vikings. So…..spare sail?

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    By Crom, it took half my screen to get past the text. Is this the wordiest title/author bit we’ve seen?

    Isn’t he going to trip over that sheet he’s got tucked into his gold coin belt? Fall over and land on his own sword. And what’s with that belt, does he make money on the side as a nude belly dancer?

    In the Ancient Times, did they have Ye Olde Ancient Steroids for him to get that build? Talk about Faux-nan. And this was even before Ah-nuld.

    MacArt. Wasn’t that program on the first B&W Macintosh in the 80s?

    @B’mancer (1): Knee face. Goes with our existing tree face.

    @Tom (4): Does he usually maraud shirtless but with full trousers, I wonder? Really, you’d think a sailor would have a more even tan. He doesn’t seem to have toes, though; is this a close-fitting pair of white tights?

    @Tat (7): My husband’s got a cousin called Conan. He’s from Chicago. You can imagine the remarks over the years. I forget his middle name, but it’s equally Oirish so that wasn’t much option. I also used to know a Ruaridh, who early in life resigned himself to be called Rory. He didn’t have a middle name.

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Now watch as I break this sword with my bare hands.”

    #4: these are his party clothes. He normally dresses like that other famous Celtic strongman, Obelix, although with a lower beltline. ( )

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    “Is this a dagger which I see before me?”
    “Oi, are ye blind, mac? It’s a big frinkin’ sword”

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tor M (15) 😉

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Every copy writer should know this basic rule: a tagline ending with a question mark is inherently an admission of failure.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @ARY: A good rule to follow. Back a few days ago, we decided the Tar-sham question tagline was properly answered D) all of the above.

    And of course Betteridge’s Law always applies to taglines with question marks.

    Good Show, Scandinavian Sir.

  23. RachelJ Says:

    What’s holding the sheet up?

  24. Longtime _Lurker Says:

    [email protected]: As to landing on his own sword:

    There was a young sailor named Bates
    Who danced the fandango on skates—
    But a fall on his cutlass
    Has rendered him nutless
    And practically useless on dates.

    Better late than never.

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