Jan 16

Got a big triangle hole in my back

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How to pick up girls

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It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Planet of the Damned special!

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. Max Manspreading

2. Obviously passed-out ladies are central to the plot of this book.

Published 1980, 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.22 out of 10)

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16 Responses to “Planet of the Damned”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: That stint in The Brian Rogers Connection didn’t go to waste.

    2: They left this bit out of the Justice League movie, the fools – might have made audiences actually interested in Cyborg.

  2. fred Says:

    1) Electrical tape not being used as clothing. Double damn.

    2) Electrical tape as clothing. Hot damn.

  3. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. We call this pose “Downward-Facing Raygun.”

    2. We call this pose “Gravity-Defying Bazooms.”

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    1. He can save the world and rescue damsels but he’s useless at ironing shirts.

    2. He had a big pile of body-parts and bagpipes, for smome reason, and is going to add her to his collection.

    (THX: #1 had me falling about.)

  5. unwesen Says:

    #1 Watch out! If you lean back further, you might trip!

    #2 I got nothing.

  6. StevenLP Says:

    Surely if she were really unconcious her arms (in the second cover) would be hanging straight down, not at 45%?

    Or should I say ‘arm’, as I can’t see her right one – though I suppose she could be holding it at right angles to her body.

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    #1 Even the fire is striking a pose.

    #2 Curling unconscious women is a great way to isolate the biceps.

  8. Tor Mented Says:

    1.) B. Chiclitz beat me to comments about yoga poses. Sigh.
    Someone should have told the artist that it looks as though the man is playing a very rude, grade-school-level joke on that poor woman.
    And careful how you spell “assana.”

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. Don’t know if Jim Baen had a talent for choosing good writers but he sure was a magnet for bad cover art.

    2. Amazing what you find sorting through corpse mountain.

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    1. Planet of the Beige.

    I don’t think that guy has any problem assuming that position. I think his legs are vastly different lengths and he has to stand that way. He might not even have a left knee, and crabs along as he moves. I’m also certain that a real person couldn’t recreate either of those positions. Damsel’s got Escher Girls Spine.

    2. Mr. Partly Bionic seems to have sensible anatomy. Can’t say the same for his lady friend, esp her torso and arm. Also, her g-string seems to be made out of the same stuff as her hair. Ewww.

    If he was going to keep spelling his name with that AE ligature, wouldn’t that mean that in the US, The Masterful Lord Himself’s name would be “Jim Ben”?

    Sadly, after TMLH passed on, the publishing house went for worse authors and more ridiculous covers. rawr*explosion*font abuse*

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    #2 this is the morning after an all night beach party on the Jersey Shore.

  12. Michael Toland Says:

    2. Obviously passed-out ladies are central to the plot of this book.

    Which apparently stars Deathlok the Demolisher.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Came back to report that the husband, who never notices such things, said about #1 “You can’t stand that way!” without prompting. With prompting, he agreed that the dude’s legs are very different from each other. Also, I showed him the unsheeped #2 and he was of the opinion her bazooms weren’t natural.

    Realized just now we were all so focused on his legs we didn’t notice the weirdness of his left hand. Seriously, look at it.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I’m really, really glad covers like these don’t come with Scratch-And-Sniff cards. A pile of corpses and a sweaty barbarian make a seriously ripe odor cocktail.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Cover #2 will also be used as an election poster by a yet-to-be-named contender for leadership of the GOP… or Russia…. or both.

  16. Anna T. Says:

    1: Wow his leg position looks uncomfortable. It also looks like he’s broken his left ankle.

    2: There’s no way she’s dead or unconscious, not with the way her arm is positioned.

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