Nov 09

OI! Can't you see I'm having a bath here!?Click for full image

Do dragons wash themselves? I guess they’d have to. Who would want to ride on the back of a big stinking dragon, eh? Ah hahaha – so have one in the sea or something, scrubbing away. And have some damsel stumble across him. And though I kinda want them, best not draw any dragon ‘bits’.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.60 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “Sea Dragon Heir”

  1. SI Says:

    Not really that bad… but every single word on the cover is just amazing.

    Storm Constantine, that is one hell of an awesome name!

  2. CSA Says:

    Its quite bad, but theres only one dragon and its not cheesey red colour, and also the chick isn’t wearing leather and shoulderpads etc. All things considered it could be alot worse.

    I didnt get a chance to head down to the big 2nd hand bookshop in town to snap some covers for you. There were some great ones when i went down a few months ago but the photos were far too blurry. I shall quest to find some truely epic pieces for the site!

  3. Adam Roberts Says:

    By no means the worst cover you’ve posted; though there is of course something daft about, basically, a dragon in a jacuzzi.

    Also SeeDragonHear… is an incomplete titl– no, wait, I’ve read that wrong. Is this book for pre-school kids? No?

  4. Roses Says:

    I think the artist captured the moment, just before she wades in to wash his back…

    Adam, I think the primer you’re thinking of is See Dragon Eat Virgins?

    And while we’re at it, has anyone ever answered why dragons need to eat virgins? Why does their lunch need to be sexually inexperienced?

  5. SI Says:

    Who knows. Magic and Virgins just seem to go hand in hand really.

    Maybe virgins simply taste better?

  6. little mi Says:

    Maybe they feel intimidated by an experienced woman who is comfortable with her sexuality. I expect they feel metaphorically castrated (in the Freudian sense) and are as such a symbol of a dying patriarchy who feel the need to consume and infantilise the female form…or something like that anyway…

    umm…. sorry, not sure what happened there! Clearly I need another cup of coffee.

    …and that really is an annoyingly stupid title. I’m not convinced that dress is sensible beach wear either.

  7. SI Says:

    Hmmmm, little mi you are jumping to the conclusion that all dragons only wish to ‘chow down’ on some female virgins. I guess females are more idealised as being the innocent ones. So all in all.. good point…

    Anyway… more coffee… wooo!

  8. Roses Says:

    Virgins are the idealised females? Really?!

    I’m going to ignore the coffee and head straight for the wine. I’m stressed.

  9. JustinLeego Says:

    Don’t be. Unless, of course, you’re on the lookout for a tall, dragony stranger.

    Oh wait, what am I thinking of – who isn’t these days?

  10. SI Says:

    Oh dear… I’ve just had a very scary idea of a dragon based dating site. Oh dear…

  11. Roses Says:

    Si ~ I’d sign up! Oh wait…I’m not a virgin. Damn.

  12. SI Says:

    I am sure there are plenty of dragons out there looking for an experienced lady!

    Just add your details and we’ll match you up with a suitable dragon…. Ok I’m scarying myself… Time to stop hehe

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Right; Sea Dragon.

    Left: Hair.

    Questions abound! Is that supposed to be the sun, or the moon? If the beach slants down at such a steep angle, are the dragon’s legs very very short? Does he/she/it have eight or ten to compensate? If his/her/its wing is perfed, can he/she/it fly at all? Who in their right mind wears an off-the-shoulder frock with puffy skirts down to the beach on such a windy day? Did the author know that ‘Magravandias’ is an anagram of ‘Ana’s Gravid, Ma!’? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NOTHING IN THE PICTURE?


  14. Jaouad Says:

    Whose tracksuit is that in the background?

  15. RachelJ Says:

    I keep reading this as “Sea Dragon HAIR”. You know, could be a weird hairstyle.

  16. RachelJ Says:

    The artwork’s not actually that bad, really… it’s more of a semantic problem. The title calls for a *sea dragon* and the artist produces a *dragon in the sea*. Are they or are they not the same thing? Discuss.

  17. Tom Noir Says:

    This cover is weirdly voyeuristic. A young woman… watching a dragon… bathing…


  18. anon Says:

    @RachelJ: “Hair” would be okay as long as the beginning isn’t “seed rag on”.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Courtesy of the original tropes page, this cover is much nicer, even if you do need to squint to make out the dragon the first time.

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