May 23

Jeff 'feet are so hard to draw' JonesClick for larger image

Tor Mented Comments: First off, stop swinging the sword. The artist didn’t bother to put in a target for you to hit. Second, bad fake Frazetta is worse than no Frazetta at all.

Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.23 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “The Goblin Tower”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Did you ever have an itch in the small of your back you just couldn’t scratch?

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    What Turner would have painted had he painted fantasy covers. And was drunk. And had for some inexplicable reason lost all his talent.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    Someone check the ID of the “sorceress lady”. She looks like she’s still in middle school.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    It looks like he’s having trouble getting his sword back in it’s scabbard. Silly thing keeps moving around.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Tor M mentions it in the caption, but I also thought we had a “Faux-zetta” tag.

  6. fred Says:

    If she stood up she might reach the bottom of his sternum, so I am with Bibliomancer on having big doubts as to age.

  7. THX 1138 Says:

    She could be a Gelfling.

  8. Michael Toland Says:

    For a minute there, I thought the male’s ball of black hair on his forehead was a nose, and his eyes peeking over his arm teeth. I thought he was a Hanna Barbera character after steroids and too many Conan novels.

  9. THX 1138 Says:

    @MT #8: Huckleberry Hound – as you’ve never seen him before!

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    So many questions!

    Is that the number “25” or two badly painted birds of prey?

    What’s up with his armpit? It appears to detach itself from his body. Do we need a “weird axillae” tag?

    What’s she pointing at?

  11. Anna T. Says:

    Bland, murky colours, the stereotypical “damsel clutches hero’s muscular leg” pose, and the further implication of an inappropriate age gap since the damsel looks disturbingly young.

    Seriously. WHO okayed this!?

  12. Tor Mented Says:

    @B.C.: Faux-zetta would be a great tag.

  13. MakkaPakka Says:

    @JuanPaul: and how did he draw it?

    Bold Warrior> You shall die! (bends over and gropes air behind right knee while attempting to maintain eye contact)

    His Sorceress Lady> (rolls eyes, looks upward)

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Yep, someone tried to recreate Frazetta from memory and failed. Sure, he had his uncle who spends all his time in the gym, but using his younger sister as the damsel model was quite the mistake. She just wanted to get back to her AM radio and her groovy diary with plastic flowers stuck on the cover, dreaming of how cute the Monkees are.

    So much yellow (I maintain that needs to be a tag, along with faux-zetta).

    The goblin tower wouldn’t do well in strong winds or earthquake country. With no sense of perspective, I’ve no idea how big it is.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I could make an elaborate Nabokov joke here, but I’m too busy throwing up in my mouth…

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day’ backfired badly.

  17. Mark Owens Says:

    Its a bloody good cover you sod eating fools.. The much praised artist Jeff Jones did that cover. He was one of Frank’s favorites.

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Hot potato!
    Hot potato!
    Hot potato!

    Don’t touch it . . . .

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