Well, we can at least give the artist credit for resisting the urge to give the cover an actual dark border. They do love their borders, those fantasy cover artists.
The old guy was either cheated when he bought his sword, which looks like a shoddy lightsaber knockoff, or the young guy is about to get a big surprise.
Is that a samurai over the young guy’s right shoulder? And if it’s not – what is it? Ninja turtle? Transformer? King Chondos’ Ride? And does it merit a Behind You! Tag?
The hero seems to have a buff bod, Ed Grimley’s hair, and a touch of Jack Black in the face. Indeed, I don’t doubt that Tenacious D could come up with an appropriately epic soundtrack to this cover.
I can’t believe they skipped the opportunity for TING!
Young man has a samurai for his second, who’s imitating the ninja by becoming invisible so he can sidle out of range of the whole thing. Old guy has tentacle woman in Snuggie. OTOH, they could be the Ubers as suggested — Uber certainly doesn’t care who drives for them, so samurai and tentacle women could.
Maybe the borders wouldn’t be so dark if the people didn’t stay in the shade of their crumbling walls all the time. There’s a perfectly good sun up there — or maybe even two.
Neither of those guys is King Chandos, BTW.
This author was rather overshadowed in professional life by big sis Marion, though not in personal life. He went around in a kilt whenever it was inappropriate to wear a bathrobe. Sadly, he ignored what crushing pain in the left chest means in a stout middle-aged man.
July 2nd, 2018 at 9:25 am
A visit to the grandparents turns nasty when Grandpa insists on having the last pink fondant fancy.
July 2nd, 2018 at 11:26 am
Well, we can at least give the artist credit for resisting the urge to give the cover an actual dark border. They do love their borders, those fantasy cover artists.
July 2nd, 2018 at 1:02 pm
What the hell is in the doorway behind them? A one-armed one-tentacled woman in a Snuggie® carrying a sword?
July 2nd, 2018 at 1:05 pm
Old man was in such a hurry he forgot to put on his pants dressing for battle.
July 2nd, 2018 at 1:52 pm
That’s an Uber in the doorway. King Chondos’ ride.
July 2nd, 2018 at 3:30 pm
If this cover made a sound, it would be “fwoosh!”.
July 2nd, 2018 at 4:03 pm
Last week David Cameron, now Danny Dyer takes on Corbyn.
July 2nd, 2018 at 4:52 pm
The old guy was either cheated when he bought his sword, which looks like a shoddy lightsaber knockoff, or the young guy is about to get a big surprise.
July 2nd, 2018 at 5:38 pm
The cover isn’t really that bad, just dull. Very generic.
July 2nd, 2018 at 11:18 pm
It’s hard to tell, but does the old guy deserve a sir mixalot tag?
July 3rd, 2018 at 2:53 am
I just noticed in the tags that this is a playboy paperback. This cover is so off-brand!
July 3rd, 2018 at 3:22 am
Is that a samurai over the young guy’s right shoulder? And if it’s not – what is it? Ninja turtle? Transformer? King Chondos’ Ride? And does it merit a Behind You! Tag?
July 3rd, 2018 at 5:04 am
@Innocent Bystander, it’s just an innocent bystander!
July 3rd, 2018 at 5:39 am
@Bibliomancer, I think she’s holding a flashlight and making shadow puppets on the wall behind her. Looks like a bird of some sort.
July 3rd, 2018 at 4:01 pm
Leonardo DiCaprio vs. Shakespeare! Who will win?
July 4th, 2018 at 2:33 am
@JuanPaul, it definitely could be. I, however, prefer to be a less conspicuous innocent bystander myself.
July 7th, 2018 at 12:34 am
The hero seems to have a buff bod, Ed Grimley’s hair, and a touch of Jack Black in the face. Indeed, I don’t doubt that Tenacious D could come up with an appropriately epic soundtrack to this cover.
I can’t believe they skipped the opportunity for TING!
Young man has a samurai for his second, who’s imitating the ninja by becoming invisible so he can sidle out of range of the whole thing. Old guy has tentacle woman in Snuggie. OTOH, they could be the Ubers as suggested — Uber certainly doesn’t care who drives for them, so samurai and tentacle women could.
Maybe the borders wouldn’t be so dark if the people didn’t stay in the shade of their crumbling walls all the time. There’s a perfectly good sun up there — or maybe even two.
Neither of those guys is King Chandos, BTW.
This author was rather overshadowed in professional life by big sis Marion, though not in personal life. He went around in a kilt whenever it was inappropriate to wear a bathrobe. Sadly, he ignored what crushing pain in the left chest means in a stout middle-aged man.
September 14th, 2019 at 1:24 pm
“There can be only one very short swordsman!”
June 22nd, 2020 at 10:38 pm
This is not how I pictured the assassination of Leon Trotsky…
June 23rd, 2020 at 3:03 am
TFW you’ve been sent to assassinate an old man who lives alone in a ruin and he turns out to have a magic sword.
June 23rd, 2020 at 8:11 pm
@19 – A.R. Yngve: Now you’ve made me laugh inappropriately loudly in the dentist’s waiting room.
June 24th, 2020 at 12:56 am
@ARY: So are we sure he’s not on a cycling tour with Clodagh Rogers?
May 3rd, 2024 at 11:53 pm
25% Jack Black, 25% Wolverine, 25% Elvis, 25% Robin Hood… 100% Hero!