Apr 17
Click for larger imageLord Kelvin Comments: What’s the opposite of Amazon Prime?
Published 1981
(Average: 4.26 out of 10)
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Lord Kelvin Comments: What’s the opposite of Amazon Prime?
Published 1981
(Average: 4.26 out of 10)Loading...
(9.25 out of 10) (9.18 out of 10) (9.01 out of 10) (8.97 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.92 out of 10) (8.88 out of 10) (8.88 out of 10)
Lastest Tweet
April 17th, 2019 at 11:02 am
“Just off to prune the savage horlas, they’ve been rather taking over the flowerbed recently.”
April 17th, 2019 at 1:00 pm
Let’s strip down to our undies, sharpen our knives like razors, and harvest those mushrooms!
April 17th, 2019 at 1:36 pm
Sal Mineo’s tragic death at the hands of the savage Horlas.
April 17th, 2019 at 2:07 pm
Inexplicable ting
is now a thing!
April 17th, 2019 at 2:10 pm
A slimmed down Bomba the jungle boy gets a Ting! and Farrah doesn’t? Overly ornamented Farrah deserves all the Ting!s.
April 17th, 2019 at 3:01 pm
Not even TRYING to draw feet this time.
(@Lord Kelvin: I would have thought ‘Telamon Prime’.)
April 17th, 2019 at 3:13 pm
@Tat W—Not only the complete abdication of feet, but there’s also something really off with that torso-to-leg length ratio. And her calves are way too massive when compared to her skinny upper arms. Clearly a Summa Cum Laude graduate of UAI.
April 17th, 2019 at 5:17 pm
Well, this beach vacation has gone horribly wrong. I blame everything on the floating person.
I assume that @B. Chiclitz is proposing the addition of the “anatomical issues” tag.
April 17th, 2019 at 6:15 pm
@Anna T—I suspect the Tag Wiz will look more kindly upon the suggestion if it comes from you rather than from me 😉
April 17th, 2019 at 8:29 pm
I saw the Ting! tag and looked at the weapons in vain. Silly me, of course the Ting! is coming off his lower torso. Not even his shorts. At which point, I thought “but aren’t you supposed to put the jewel in your navel, not several inches to the left?” At which point I noticed he didn’t have a navel, at least not in the usual position, so maybe it IS there.
All of which is to say to @Tag Wiz that I don’t always complain about the lack of tags; sometimes I think GSTagS!
Other than that and the usual “feet are hard”, the anatomy is slightly better than many of our submissions, saving of course that her cleavage would not be that ample on someone of her lean muscle-y type. And girlfriend needs to not skip arm day in the gym; her legs are much more buff than the rest of her.
Her hair is difficult to distinguish from the robe of the presumably evil chap — foreshadowing, or the artist just thought it looked neato? The latter, I’m sure. And her luxurious locks appear to have also started sprouting from her arm.
Is Mr. Hoodie or the mushrooms the evil Horlas? Were ‘shrooms involved at any point in the making of this cover? Could explain the anatomical issues.
Mighty thews. Is that a tag? Because there are a total of four mighty thews on this cover.
Is Amazon Farrah about to stab Brillo-Head Ting!Torso while he’s bent over? Does she want all the mushrooms to herself?
The mouseover text is brilliant.
@Anna T: good to see you’ve returned. As you can see, we haven’t changed a bit.
April 17th, 2019 at 9:48 pm
The ghoul at the back seems to be desperately trying to get noticed, probably suffering the common ghost problem of trying to terrify people who can’t actually perceive them. While in the foreground the tings now exist independently of physical objects and with their new found freedom may take over the world. Under the leadership of Tinkerbell, the first independently existing ting.
April 18th, 2019 at 12:25 am
The Pony Princess called: she wants her floating star-filled mane back.
My headcanon is that the ting! is the hero’s Pancreas of Power.
In drawing one model’s muscular legs onto another one’s torso, the artist appears to have forgotten to remove her garter. Unless that’s her tic tac stash.
The robe the (witch? Horla? I’m uncertain about gender or species, but they’ve certainly been skipping Moisturizer Day) is wearing looks either ragged or rather fuzzy in closeup: maybe it’s a bathrobe? Or a snuggie?
Also, he/she seems to be sprinkling flower petals on the two below.
April 18th, 2019 at 12:50 am
Either her anatomy if fine and the perspective is off. Or the perspective is fine and her anatomy is off. Let’s go with the latter.
I was thinking of adding a “feet are hard to draw” tag but life is too short to add it to 500 older covers.
April 22nd, 2019 at 9:15 pm
Treacle-eye prong rave arousal: Short Trevor ‘Bath Agave’ Vaughn badgers swimsuit girls in old underwear!
OMAHA’S SOFT MELON ZONE
Maynion Skidmark
April 23rd, 2019 at 6:19 am
“Short Trevor […] old underwear!” sums this cover up perfectly.
I don’t think anything like this happens in Omaha, though.
April 30th, 2019 at 4:23 pm
Everyone looks they’re high.
April 30th, 2019 at 4:36 pm
It really needs Annette Funicello and Jody McCrae to come along and do a song about exorcisms by the fire, roasting weenies and cacodaemons. With a guest cameo by John Carradine in a hula skirt.
Then, at the end, Harvey Lembeck is consigned to Hades:” Why me? Why me all da time?”
September 22nd, 2021 at 9:17 am
A telltale sign of bad covers is that the artist can’t quite decide which way the wind is blowing.
Should the hair blow this way? Or that way? Uh… let’s do both!
June 11th, 2022 at 1:55 pm
If Goodreads user Tina is to be believed, the cover is quite appropriate to the book:
“Have you ever wanted to be grossed out while reading? This is the book for you! It has everything you don’t want to read: incest, murder, torture, cannibalism, rape, bestiality, abuse, gore, castration, necrophilia, and mutilation. … ”
She allows that it has some good points, but:
“Overall, don’t read this book – it’s vile. “.
(C’mon, Tina, tell us what you really think).
June 12th, 2022 at 7:52 pm
Say what you will, but that Amazon has some melons.
September 5th, 2022 at 12:27 pm
That’s some lawn that Amazon is landscaping with her exploited undocumented assistant. Is the deranged wizard in the back the irate customer? “No! I WANT the mushrooms! Don’t remove them you fools!”
November 23rd, 2022 at 3:34 am
Amazons of Somelon? Orlon or rayon, it looks like to me.