Jun 19

I think that's what a naked girl looks likeClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Is child labour illegal in Australia? Because Deodand Publishing has a 13 year old boy running its Art Department.

Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.01 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Thuvia, Maid of Mars”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    More like Effluvia, Maid of Mars, amirite?!

  2. JuanPaul Says:

    Book 4 of the Side Boob Series

  3. fred Says:

    I think 98% of the UAI effort on this cover went into the subtly tinging golden towel ring.

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    As An Australian: Yes, but Deodand Publishing gets around the law by being a 13 year old boy.

  5. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    As Another Australian: Blush, for shame.

    And: “Deodand, noun: English law: (formerly) a thing that had caused a person’s death and was forfeited to the crown for a charitable purpose: abolished 1862”.

    I don’t want to know what they were thinking when the picked the name.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    Baby got … a back!

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Book Four of the Barstool Series: When Thuvia Starts to Look Good

  8. Anna T. Says:

    And just to add insult to the injury of any book “graced” with such a godawful cover, am I right I suggesting that the woman does not even look Martian or, quite probably, like any of the characters in the book?

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    I missed that particular episode of ‘Miranda’. Did she fall over then?

  10. Hammy Says:

    @L_L (#5):

    Maybe it’s metaphorical – the owner/publisher/teenager-in-charge says “well, we’ve killed a bunch of authors’ careers….”

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    God, that cover causes actual physical pain. It would be better if they’d gone with stick figures.

  12. Hammy Says:

    Gawd, who approved that? It’s horrible! To make it worse, the model looks scared or startled or something, like whatever it is that she’s looking over her shoulder at is too awful to bear.

    @Anna T (#8): Somehow, I pictured Thuvia being much younger. After all, in the book she is being courted by Carthoris, the son of John Carter and Deja Thoris.

    In any case, John Carter specifically mentions early on in the series that Martians don’t show physical signs of aging as Earthlings do, so the woman on the cover shouldn’t.

    And yes, the dominant humanoid Martians in the Barsoom series have red skin, though there are also isolated areas wherein live black-skinned, yellow-skinned and white-skinned humanoids.

  13. MakkaPakka Says:

    @LL Deodand is likely a reference to Jack Vance’s Tales of the Dying Earth.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I was laughing at the eyes till I got to the whole face, which was horrifying (Mr. x-n could only say “The…face…”) and then the weird sideboob construction hit. I didn’t even notice the hair till later.

    Hands are hard to draw or whatever process was used to do this, and I think 13 is overstating the age.

    There are many, many covers for this public domain book. I bet all of them are better. As are all of the other publishers’ names. I wouldn’t be surprised if this had caused a death of a fine art lover with a weak heart, but am certain the Crown wants nowt to do with it either.

    This is currently atop the leaderboard by a wide margin, and I’m fine with that.

  15. Alice Says:

    @Good Show Sir – Good Show Sir!

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Hey wait… You mean these books are Public Domain?

    ‘Cos then I could also publish “Thuvia, Maid of Mars” – with a much better cover – and make a neat sum of money. Cha-ching!

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Today for only 99c US this book is available with a cover you wouldn’t have to hide on the bus. Or even on your kindle.

    Looks like possibly the original illustration from back in the day?

    All available paper versions also have a much better cover (though that’s not hard to do).

  18. Hammy Says:

    @GSSxn (prev.) and all:

    Whatever you do, *do not* pay for Audible in order to download public domain books.

    Go to instead. Yeah, the readers are all amateurs, so the most likely won’t be as good as the professional versions, but the books cost nothing at all.

    And yes, even I have read a few chapters for audiobooks.

  19. flatus maximus Says:

    I thought the “art” on The Doom That Came To Sarnath was lousy.
    this is absolute crap. Not even fap worthy. damn. damn.

  20. FluffyGhostKitten Says:

    Burroughs’ Martians lay eggs, right? Because she looks like she’s thinking, “Woah, guess I wasn’t just constipated.”

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