Sep 17

Shut your pie-hole, or eye-hole, or whatever it isClick for larger image

Raoul Comments: I Have No Mouth, and I Must … Seem Odd to You?

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Off-Planet”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Gort looks different without the makeup.

  2. fred Says:

    Space Oddity isn’t the worst song to have stuck in your head all day.

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Greetings, Earthling. I am Testes, from the star system of Nad-Hed.”

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Note the “mystical pyramid crystal” in Simak’s name.
    Yeah, everyone knows Clifford D. Simak was into pyramids and crystals… all SF writers are crazy about that New Age stuff! Trust the editor of Mandarin Books!

  5. THX 1139 Says:

    Which came first, Asimov’s sideburns or this guy’s sideburns?

  6. Anna T. Says:

    I never wondered if an eye could look like both an eye and a mouth before today.

  7. Leak Says:

    Hairy eye-balls? Do. Not. Want.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    It’s this guy, without his disguise.

  9. GSS ex-noob Says:

    This being can literally watch what it eats.

    @ARY: I was “meh” on comment #4 till I noticed the hair, and upgraded to LOL. As to #5, I so agree on the mystic crystal pyramid prism. Not only does it look stupid, Simak was as far from that sort of person as could be.

    @Anna T: Chris Moore couldn’t decide whether to paint an eye or a mouth, so he combined them.

    @B’mancer: GSS! I don’t recall any eyeball-cueball humanoid aliens in Simak’s writings, so why are they on the covers?

    Also, look what’s on sale today in self-publishing land:

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Day five on Earth: I begin to suspect the locals don’t like the look of my sideburns.”

    @Anna T.: you need to read more Lovecraft-inspired stuff then.

    @GSS ex-noob: I suspect it’s supposed to be the alien from “A Death in the House” (note the glowy magic Amulet of Happyness) which as a plant-being probably doesn’t need a mouth.

    (And the aliens – well, one set of them – in that story do look like bowling balls: they just combine with mannequins or something to mimic the human form).

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSSxN – Awesome. I’m making that guy my avatar. And I’m lobbying Tag Wizard to put that cover in the next Honourable Mentions!

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—That college sounds like the one I attended.

  13. Raoul Says:

    That’ not his mouth or his eye. This alien guy is talking out his ass.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    It has something of a “70s Lothario” look about it, with the big chest amulet and sideburns: I could almost imagine it’s holding a joint in that hand.

  15. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @Bruce: Depending on whether that’s an eye or a mouth, would a joint be any use to it? – or him? (sideburns, medallion – surely it has to be a him)

  16. Anna T. Says:

    @Bruce A Munro: Well maybe I will then.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’mancer of the new avatar: happy to be of service.

    It took 2 guys to write that. Are you going to work on becoming a wolfman warlock too?

  18. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    Looking at this cover again – and sideways – I think I see a third alternative to “eye or mouth”.

    Maybe in spite of the shirtless, medallion wearing look this isn’t a male alien, and they might not be sideburns.

  19. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    Looking at this cover again – and sideways – I think I see a third alternative to “eye or mouth”.

    Maybe in spite of the shirtless, medallion-wearing 70’s look this isn’t a male alien.

  20. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “I know you are all looking at my pimples.”

  21. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “There’s something very off about this planet.”

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