Nov 27

Carnage can only be stopped by joining in - General TsoClick for larger image

Charlie the Tuna Comments: Starring Clem Kadiddlehopper as Adam Hunter, Verne Troyer as Mini-Mime and Pat Morita as Fu Manchu!

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.87 out of 10)

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27 Responses to “Operation: Alpha Death”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    Hey, Charlie. You forgot Richard Kiel as ‘Man Throwing Zombie Off Cliff’. Also generic-model-turned-actress whose name nobody can remember because after all women are not meant to be distinct characters in stories like this as Generic ‘Love’ Interest.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    I’m guessing this is the last in the series if Adam marches towards a hideous death. Some hero. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, huh?

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    Any one of the people on this cover could be Adam Hunter. Maybe Adam is a master of disguise.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Sylvester Stallone as Charlie Rivel in

  5. Ray P Says:

    This isn’t the OCTOPUSSY movie poster?

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    @RayP nailed it!

  7. fred Says:

    It’s the movie David Lean wishes he made from the book Alistair MacLean wishes he wrote.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    Going to tell my kids this was The Joker

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘No, I said “carNAGE”, not…’

    I’m going to have that Alan Price song stuck in my head all day.

    (PS. This is what the film actually looked like )

  10. Raoul Says:

    Let’s fix that punctuation
    Hunter: #2: Operation: Alpha: Death

  11. Rick Deckard Says:

    Wow. This is like a Mount Rushmore of terrible cover art.

  12. Anna T. Says:

    This would just be a generic thriller novel cover… and then BOOM! Clown.

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    When Tommy DeVito entered in the full clown outfit, the other goodfellas knew he had finally snapped.
    “But, I’m funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to f***in’ amuse you?”

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I see the circus finally pushed Dumbo too far.

  15. JuanPaul Says:

    If Fury Road was about a circus, it would look like this.

  16. Bruce A Munro Says:

    At the first glance, I assumed the team of heroes is made up of the clown, the midget, the woman, and the old guy, and I still am unsure if that is the case or not.

    The crowd next the flaming circus do not appear to be marching zombie-like: they seem to be fleeing, Toho movies crowd-style.

    @Francis Boyle: Looking at the largest magnification, I still can’t tell who those people at the top of the cliff are, except that one of them seems to be wearing a uniform: perhaps they’re both zombies, or, judging from what I can see of their facial features, crash test dummies.

  17. Bibliomancer Says:

    OK, I have to ask. WTF does “Alpha Death” mean?

  18. THX 1139 Says:

    @Biblio: Someone isn’t a Walking Dead fan!

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Color abuse! Font abuse! Random assemblage featuring scary clown and little person! Giant overheated blurb!

    Truly, prime GSS material.

    Is Alpha Death the best kind, more expensive than Beta Death?

    @Ray P: GSS! Wonder if the author/artist was upset or thrilled with that. This cover so badly (badly) wanted to be a movie.

    Hey, is this “death by pink sky and giant blurb week”? Just looked back at yesterday’s.

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The wee man is the accountant:
    “OK, let’s see, add six, carry the one, take remainder sales into account, factor for statistical drift, and . . . it’s no use, the number of people marching to their hideous deaths clearly outnumbers the number of people marching to buy this book. I guess they were given a choice.”

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Alpha Death” is…
    A) The cancellation of the TV series SPACE: 1999
    B) The passing of the alpha male of the flock
    C) When the alpha-wave pattern ceases to register in a terminal patient’s EEG scan
    D) The result of pulling random words out of a hat

  22. fred Says:

    Amazing how a cover from 1975 critiques the final season of GoT.

  23. Francis Boyle Says:

    @Bruce A Munro

    How can you look at this cover and say that it doesn’t need a man with metal teeth?

  24. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Francis Boyle: “The Worst” seems to promise disappointment. Having Richard Kiel battling a mummy would move the cover in the “best” direction.

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    @Bruce A Munro: How can you promise disappointment?

  26. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tat Wood: it depends on how optimistic the other person is!

  27. Tat Wood Says:

    @Bruce: I don’t know – if it’s a complete optimist s/he’ll be expecting disappointment and therefore won’t be let down. If it’s a thorough pessimist s/he’ll also be expecting disappointment. If it’s a genuine promise, the disappointment won’t be a disappointment because it was exactly as expected.

    But then, I’ve been watching England play cricket since the early 70s so I know that the precise manner of all hope fleeing can be a known unknown.

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