Jan 09

AwfulworldClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Nobody skips abs day on Offworld.

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.09 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “Offworld”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    “And I’d have gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling gym bunnies!”

  2. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    “Max Daniels” is apparently Roberta Gellis, fantasy writer and sometime collaborator with Mercedes Lackey. Unfortunately, that tells us nothing about the creature that our hero is apparently pulling apart. Which looks to me rather like the demon rat monster from hell here:

  3. fred Says:

    Unsurprisingly the hero is named Max.
    And someone get that poor cold wounded girl another 2 square centimeters of clothing before she freezes to death.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Here at Off-Planet Fitness our personal trainers will beat you into shape.

  5. Lillie Awesome Says:

    Don’t mind me, ladies, just using the understair vents to dry off my sack of semi-corporeal evil. As one does.

  6. Francis Boyle Says:


  7. Anna T. Says:

    I agree with @fred. The bigger question is why blue girl is the only one who looks cold; perhaps she’s not from this area.

    And incidentally, those sorry excuses for tops the women are wearing offer no breast support whatsoever, rendering them utterly impractical.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Anna T.—Regarding the Damsels’ tops, remember they are “offworld” where as I understand it gravity is very, very minimal. This leads to all sorts of perky upthrust, as well as their hyper-flowing hair and muscleboy’s ability to lift that massive bug.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSSxn—Do I see a jaunty hip there on the left?

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Are we 100% sure this is a book, and not a 70s rock album cover?

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “How was the adventuring?”
    “Not bad, tamed a giant lizard-ox. You?”
    “Defeated and took prisoner an extradimensional fiend. Not quite sure what to do with it now.”
    “Someone stabbed me in the arm and stole my jacket.”
    “Now, now. Don’t be a negative Nelly – think of it as constitution building!”

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Looking at the large-size version of the cover, it looks like the women, besides never missing Ab Day, have had collagen lip injections.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Is the ancient evil the thing the guy down right (Max?) is blow-drying? Will that awaken it, or put it back to sleep?

    @BC: indeed it is! She and Max seem to be giving each other the eye. Perhaps she fancies men who can rassle evil bat-things, and he likes the ladies who don’t turn blue in bikinis and can handle swords and lizard-oxen.

    Blue lady seems to be the same species as jaunty-hip woman, so perhaps it’s a racial difference in their skin. She also has less-defined abs.

    I don’t know what the mushroom exploded from within building is about, nor the rest of the geodesic dome. Maybe it’s the gym? Obviously the gym is the most important building to their culture.

    The gravity on Offworld makes no sense, with those gas giants so nearby.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: I think those are Red Moons rather than gas giants: those are wispy clouds, I think, not gas giant cloud bands. (I think I see craters, too)

    Admittedly, as close as they are, they should be raising mongo tides. Perhaps the cover was taken with a telephoto lens.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Telephoto lens was my thought, too. Else anything that big, that close, is going to raise land tides and no one’s going to be hanging out chatting about their day of critter-wrangling.

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    If this was the new life promised in the adverts in ‘Blade Runner’ I’m not surprised Roy Batty preferred being rained on in a smoggy LA.

  17. Tracy Says:

    It looks like the barbarian is roughing up that insectoid humanoid by dangling him over the precipice, and the insect-man is now vomiting from all the stress. I guess it has to do with the blue girl’s injury.

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